Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

God’s plan for me does not involve LinkedIn at all.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Me: Do you have the movie I want to watch? Netflix: No, but we have hundreds of movies that you don’t want to watch!

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Girl, I’m bored. Let’s start drinking the daily recommended 10-15 cups of water.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,848

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

Trending via Threads:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Making waves on Threads:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Making waves on YouTube:

The way Adele works for 6 months and then disappears for 7 years is very much the work-life balance I’m all about.

Making waves on Reddit:

Dating a smart man, so I actually can turn my brain off when he is around.

Just landed via Threads:

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

Making waves on Discord:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

Live now on Telegram:

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Accept the truth that a clean kitchen and finished laundry are just myths. Embrace the chaos and find your inner calm.

Just shared via Pinterest:

You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

Home » Funny Live Quotes » Page 12

114 Funny live quotes

More funny live quotes 👇

ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

0

5 months ago

ability, absolutely, ADHD, anything, being, good, humor, irony, life, live, necessity, need, pretty, skill, struggle, talent, terrible, want
My mental health walks make my mental health worse because I live in a shithole.

0

5 months ago

frustration, health, humor, i, live, living, living situation, mental, mental health, self-deprecation, situation, walk, walks, worse
The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

0

5 months ago

daily, daily struggle, finding, health, humor, live, longest, mental, mental health, morning, morning routine, motivation, procrastination, routine, struggle, will to live
You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

0

5 months ago

behavior, communication, die, enough, humor, leaving, life, live, messaging, modern, modern life, people, people pleaser, pleaser, read, read receipt, receipt, social, social behavior, start, text, texts

For even more funny live quotes, hit next 👇

All funny live quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Discord this month:

Did we do it, did we save the daylight?

100 shares on X this month:

Social media may have been a mistake.

17 shares on Discord this month:

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

76 shares on Telegram this month:

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

69 shares on Facebook this month:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

Snow White and the seven dwarves of the menopause; Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, and Psycho.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Me, with $33 left after paying bills: Let’s see how much a Land Rover costs.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

If you say my name three times in the mirror, I show up and kiss you on the forehead.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Frankly, I have too many situations and not enough monitors.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I’m so tired. Let’s see all of the horrible things happening in the world today before I try to sleep peacefully.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Me leaving the house: I hope I don’t see anyone.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

Breaking via Reddit:

I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

Spotted on Threads:

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

Going viral on Discord:

I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

Just shared via WeChat:

If I don’t reply, assume I opened your message, nodded, and then got distracted.

Trending via Threads:

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

Seen just now on Slack:

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

Seen just now on Discord:

I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

Just shared via Instagram:

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

114 Funny live quotes

More funny live quotes 👇

ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

My mental health walks make my mental health worse because I live in a shithole.

The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

All funny live quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨