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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Happiness is an inside job.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

White guys have a slur for other white guys they don’t respect, it’s called ‘buddy.’

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,592

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

Just landed via Twitch:

When you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re trying out a new word.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

Spotted on Facebook:

“It’s not that deep!” Well, I have a shovel and I enjoy digging for meaning.

Just shared via WeChat:

I was about to stop overthinking, then I thought of a giraffe having a sore throat.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

Making waves on Twitch:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

Just landed via Twitch:

A 20% discount sounds great until you realize you can’t afford the other 80%

Funny lock screen quotes

Funny lock screen quotes bring a burst of laughter every time you unlock your phone 😂🔓! Whether you need a quick mood boost or want to show off your quirky side, these witty sayings are perfect for turning a simple glance into a smile 😄📱. Ready to make your lock screen the highlight of your day? Let’s dive into some hilarious vibes that keep the good times rolling! 🎉✨

New funny lock screen quotes 👇

All funny lock screen quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on YouTube this month:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

Had a fight with an erection this morning. Beat it single-handed.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

“You replied so quickly.” God forbid I wait like a dog to hear from you again.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

58 shares on Threads this month:

No email needs to tell me not to reply.

43 shares on Discord this month:

I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.

56 shares on Discord this month:

If Keith Richards survived the ’70s, the ’80s, and 1.2 million Marlboros, I can probably survive anything.

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to have a hobbit boi summer (throw a huge birthday party for myself, then mysteriously vanish right after insulting everyone).

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,280

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

The rumors of my will to live have been greatly exaggerated.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

Going bananas on Slack:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

Making waves on Telegram:

Have kids so you can live in a house full of people who can’t find anything.

Just shared via Facebook:

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m just trying to have a nice time despite knowing facts and information.

Making waves on Twitch:

Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

Going viral on YouTube:

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Just landed via Instagram:

The gym gives you energy, but you need energy to get to the gym. Feels like a pyramid scheme, if you ask me.

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