Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I’m a comedian. My pronouns are ha/ha.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

770 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,932

Funny Quotes Topics

13,903

Funny Quotes Images

10,932

39 minutes ago

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

Just landed via Twitch:

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

Going viral on Discord:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

Just shared via YouTube:

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

Going viral on Slack:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

Breaking via Messenger:

I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

Live now on Twitch:

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

Home » Funny Lock Screen Quotes

Funny lock screen quotes

New funny lock screen quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

Commentary:
"Talk about not even fooling your own phone! 📱😂 Looks like their lockscreens are the real MVPs detecting that fakeness! 😜 #Can'tFakeIt"
6 months ago
Share →: Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

Commentary:
"Me: I'll get to that important task right after I finish deleting all these lock screen screenshots… 📸🔒💥#ProcrastinationGameStrong"
6 months ago
Share →: The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

Commentary:
"Who needs a horoscope when you have accidental lock screen screenshots as your guiding star? 🌟📸 Just when you thought your phone had your back but turns out it's just photobombing your life! 📱😅 #AccidentalScreenshotsStruggles"
6 months ago
Share →: I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

Commentary:
"Annoying? Maybe. Narcissistic? Definitely not! 😜📵 Let's give credit where it's due – at least there's no endless stream of selfies hogging that lock screen real estate! 🤳 #SelfieFreeZone"

For even more funny lock screen quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny lock screen quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

770 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,932

Funny Quotes Topics

13,903

Funny Quotes Images

10,932

39 minutes ago

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

“Overdressed” is a social construct created by hating girls.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Women don’t pretend anymore to dig for something in their purse and then pull out their middle finger.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

Reported on Facebook:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Making waves on Messenger:

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

Trending via Discord:

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.

Just shared via Slack:

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

Trending via Messenger:

If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

Broadcasted on X:

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴