Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

The people who are $30 trillion in debt are giving you a credit score.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

If you’re a guy and you’re struggling right now, just remember nobody cares, and it does get worse.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,588

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

Trending via Telegram:

There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

Spotted on YouTube:

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Just shared via Discord:

Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

Live now on TikTok:

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

Making waves on WeChat:

Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I get it, orcas. Sometimes you just need to ruin a yacht to feel something.

Just landed via Slack:

I’m at the age where I can remember things that never happened.

Funny long hair quotes

New funny long hair quotes 👇

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

0

4 weeks ago

80s, 80s film, appearance, charming, charming lead, classic, days, discord, Discord mod, film, gathering, group, guy, hair, having, i, lead, long hair, magic, Magic: The Gathering, mod, Navy, runs, scary

Someone from 🇬🇲 has recently copied this quote.

47 shares on YouTube this month.
Girls with long hair will literally leave little traces of themselves wherever they go, like feathers falling from an angel’s wings.

0

4 months ago

angel, falling, feather, girl, girls, hair, humor, leave, literally, little, long hair, metaphor, trace, traces, wherever, wing, wings

Someone from 🇿🇦 has recently copied this quote.

44 shares on Discord this month.

All funny long hair quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Facebook this month:

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

11 shares on Discord this month:

I get easily confused in the morning. Also in the afternoon and evening.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

As long as I’m alive, I can begin again and again and again, again and again and again, again and again and again.

96 shares on Slack this month:

The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

57 shares on Messenger this month:

Remember when the most annoying thing about Twitter was trying to think of a shorter word.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

17 shares on X this month:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why are plane tickets so expensive? You’re going that way anyway, just give me a ride.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

You can just comment, “You two look nice,” on a photo of three people. It’s free and legal.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Peeling a sweaty sports bra off counts as aerobic exercise, right?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I haven’t been with anyone in 3 years. I feel sorry for my next boyfriend. He might not make it through the day.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

In your 20s, you will be tempted to prove that you’re doing well. It’s important you resist performing for an audience that isn’t watching.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Seen just now on X:

Аbsolutely crazy to thіnk that Leonardo DіCaprіo’s future gіrlfrіend іs currently nervous for her fіrst day of kіndergarten.

Going viral on Messenger:

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

Breaking via Discord:

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

Freshly posted on X:

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

Going viral on Slack:

My wife almost fell down the stairs today and that got us into a heated argument whether my gasp was out of concern or excitement.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

Live now on Slack:

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Breaking via Twitch:

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny long hair quotes

New funny long hair quotes 👇

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

Girls with long hair will literally leave little traces of themselves wherever they go, like feathers falling from an angel’s wings.

All funny long hair quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨