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Sounds like he's got a 5-day free trial, but forgot to cancel the subscription! 😂⏳
259 Funny man quotes
Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.
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Living the dream, sounds like a real nightmare! 😂😎
Women pretending not to see men staring at them is an essential survival skill.
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Mastering the art of "ignore and walk away" like a ninja in heels! 🕶️💁♀️💃
Women only want one thing, and it’s the power to cast men who tell us to smile right into a pit of giant venomous serpents.
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Sounds like those guys are about to have a hiss-terical encounter! 🐍😄
I love men with a provider fetish.
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Sounds like someone has a shopping cart that's always full! 🛒💸😄
“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.
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Asking the real CEO of the house for approval… gotta love living on the edge 😂👰📊
Girls be like, “I hate this man,” then have sex with him.
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Love-hate relationships: translating emotional turmoil into cardio! 😂❤️🔥 #MixedSignals
Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.
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When he triple-texts and then calls because I took 5 minutes to reply, that's true dedication! 😂📱💥
I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.
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Sometimes you've just got to bend over backward for yourself to appreciate the breeze 🍃💃😅
As a man, it’s my job to mistake kindness for flirting.
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"Ah, the classic 'she held the door, we're practically engaged now' syndrome! 😄🚪💍"