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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

“I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,961

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,961

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

Just landed via Facebook:

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

Spotted on Reddit:

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

Making waves on Reddit:

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

Just landed via Threads:

Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

Spotted on WeChat:

Adulthood is just waking up tired one day, and then being tired forever after that.

Just landed via Slack:

The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

Trending via Facebook:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

Just shared via Messenger:

Bruce Lee had a faster older brother named Sudden Lee.

Just shared via Twitch:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,961

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,961

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

What’s said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.

Trending via X:

If I were you, I would rather be me.

Just shared via Threads:

Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Women are able to leave the country unexpectedly at any time with the contents of their handbag.

Trending via Facebook:

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

Just landed via TikTok:

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

Just shared via Messenger:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

Trending via Snapchat:

75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

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