Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Unpopular activity: minding your own business.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Haven’t seen a single bikini photoshoot in the snow this year; the girls are tired.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Fasted for 72 hours and gained the ability to whisper to bats.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,585

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Math is like Chinese to me.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

“NOT dishwasher safe!” You’ll be okay, buddy, just do your best in there.

Spotted on Messenger:

Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

Shared recently on Twitch:

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

Just landed via WeChat:

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

Live now on Slack:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Live now on Threads:

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

Funny perfection quotes

Funny perfection quotes bring a hilarious twist to the idea of being flawless 😜✨ They remind us that aiming for perfection can be a comedy show full of quirks and laughs 🎭😂 Whether you’re a perfectionist or perfectly imperfect, these witty lines will have you smiling and embracing the fun side of life’s little flaws 🎉🤣 #PerfectlyFunny #LaughItOff

New funny perfection quotes 👇

All funny perfection quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on YouTube this month:

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

28 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

16 shares on Discord this month:

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

88 shares on Discord this month:

Don’t give up, we must remain silly.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

20 shares on TikTok this month:

When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

As a retiree, I have two pairs of pajamas. Bedtime and daytime. Sometimes I get them confused.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Passive income? Brothers, I need massive income.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,614

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

Just landed via Reddit:

Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

Trending via Discord:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Shared recently on Snapchat:

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

Live now on Twitch:

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

Breaking via Facebook:

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

Seen just now on Messenger:

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

Breaking via TikTok:

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

Breaking via WeChat:

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴