Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

No amount of daylight can save us.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Please stop fighting with each other on the internet and start fighting with each other in real life. Life is short.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Dec 23, 2025

3,595

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

Shared recently on X:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

Going viral on Reddit:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

Trending via Snapchat:

I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

Spotted on Discord:

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

Live now on TikTok:

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Home » Funny Recorded Quotes

Funny recorded quotes

Funny recorded quotes bring laughter to life 🎤😂, turning everyday moments into unforgettable comedy gold! Whether from iconic movies, quirky podcasts, or viral videos, these gems keep us smiling and sharing 🤩📲. Ready for a giggle boost? Dive into a world where words crack jokes and brighten your day—no boring speeches allowed! 😜✨

New funny recorded quotes 👇

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

0

1 month ago

age, call, call recording, calls, data, digital, digital age, funny insult, humor, insult, joke, kind, person, recorded, recording, sarcasm, tech, tech joke, training, training data, used
I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

0

1 month ago

call, ever, humor, i, irony, purpose, quality, recorded, recorded call, training, used, wonder

All funny recorded quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Telegram this month:

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

Men need women, women need men. The end.

67 shares on Threads this month:

Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Maybe making another financially irresponsible decision will fix me.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

16 shares on Discord this month:

Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

99 shares on Facebook this month:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I find pleasure in closing tabs in my wife’s brain. This worry… done. That task… complete.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I would like even faster food.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Seeing a BBL in real life is a reality-altering experience.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You can add tears while cooking if you don’t have salt.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,620

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Can somebody explain to me why it’s bad if immigrants take our jobs, but it’s good if AI does?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

As a kid, I didn’t understand the subtext of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ at all. I thought Mommy was cheating.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

White guys have a slur for other white guys they don’t respect, it’s called ‘buddy.’

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not so sure anymore.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Wish I could get paid just for being a sweetheart.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

Trending via Discord:

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m sorry I bit your hand when you reached for my popcorn.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I am both dumber and smarter than you think. Do not estimate me.

Just landed via Twitch:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I will never stop being a quitter!

Breaking via TikTok:

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

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