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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

I hate to slut-shame, but a lot of you are not slutty enough.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

The week be like Mooonnnday, Tueeesday, Weeeeednesday, Thuuuuursday, FriSatSun

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

I’d probably be a very chill werewolf, even during a full moon.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,336

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

Breaking via TikTok:

It was the becestershire of times, it was the worcestershire of times.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Going bananas on Threads:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Going viral on TikTok:

I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

Just shared via Instagram:

Spotify Wrapped has a special talent for pulling up an artist I’ve literally never heard of and telling me I actually listen to them 2,000 times per day.

Making waves on YouTube:

Are French bulldogs actually French? They seem kinda Puerto Rican.

Just landed via Twitch:

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

Just landed via Instagram:

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

Just landed via Messenger:

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

Funny recorded quotes

Funny recorded quotes bring laughter to life 🎤😂, turning everyday moments into unforgettable comedy gold! Whether from iconic movies, quirky podcasts, or viral videos, these gems keep us smiling and sharing 🤩📲. Ready for a giggle boost? Dive into a world where words crack jokes and brighten your day—no boring speeches allowed! 😜✨

New funny recorded quotes 👇

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Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“The engine light is on!” Yeah, that means it’s working.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

Not gonna lie, toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

80 shares on X this month:

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

A little 9-5 with a little fraud on the side is the only way you gone survive in this world.

93 shares on X this month:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody views your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The 69 obsession turning into 67 is a recession indicator.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

All quiet on the frontal lobe.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The feminine urge to start a coven.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,638

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It’s called being hungry.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

In my 20s: I’m gonna live forever! In my 40s: uh oh!

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Girl math is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I wish tree puns were more poplar.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

You can reach me by butterfly.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

Making waves on Messenger:

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

Live now on Slack:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

As a retiree, I have two pairs of pajamas. Bedtime and daytime. Sometimes I get them confused.

Making waves on YouTube:

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

Spotted on Instagram:

Live, laugh, leftovers.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

Spotted on Instagram:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Spotted on Messenger:

Can I come over and crawl around on you like a bug?

Shared recently on Threads:

If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

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