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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Date night idea: fight another couple.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

55 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Never signed up for a 401k cause there’s no way in hell I can run that far.

Making waves on YouTube:

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

Spotted on Telegram:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

Live now on YouTube:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them.

Going viral on TikTok:

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

Seen just now on X:

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

Breaking via Messenger:

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

Reported on Twitch:

Every time my kids start whining, I get the urge to call my mom and apologize.

Going viral on YouTube:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

55 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’

Making waves on Snapchat:

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

Trending via Pinterest:

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end and tomorrow to start.

Just landed via Messenger:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

Spotted on Reddit:

Men need women, women need men. The end.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

Trending via Twitch:

Fishing for compliments like “I’m a mess in this photo that I took all morning to get the right angle and filter and after 50 selfies this is me”.

Making waves on Reddit:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

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