Commentary:
"Because who has time for safe ejecting when there's a whole world to conquer? 💥😎 #LivingDangerously"
77 Funny safety quotes
Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.
Commentary:
"Remember folks, when hiking in bear country, it's always good to have options! 🐻🌲 Just make sure your group includes some fast runners! 😉"
How long past date can I eat eggs? Like are they still good or am I naming them now?
Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal egg conundrum! 🍳🤔 Just remember, eggs don't come with a best before date imprinted on them like a secret code. It's all about the float test: if they sink, they're wink-wink 😉, but if they float, it's a firm nope! 🥚⛵️ Don't let those eggs go rogue and turn into a science project, unless you're looking for a new pet bacteria!
The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?
Commentary:
"Ah, the thrilling realm of the web: a place where we willingly invite strangers into our digital lives… What could possibly go wrong? 🙈 Just remember, not all followers are created equal – choose wisely! 😂🌐 #StrangerDanger"
Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?
Commentary:
"Ah, Craigslist – where you can find anything from a used couch to a potential murder scene 🪓. Who knows, maybe they're just really good at hiding the bodies now 💀🤷♂️ #CraigslistMystery"
The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.
Commentary:
Everest: where lying down on the job is a permanent position. 🏔️💤
I see from the back of your car that you have found Jesus, but not your turn signal.
Commentary:
Looks like Jesus took the wheel, but the turn signal got left behind! 🙈🚗😂