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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

My soulmate is chocolate cake.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

I am a man, a man with a cold, so I guess this is goodbye.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

“Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

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15,760

Updated

Mar 1, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

There will always be miserable people inviting you to their misery.

Just landed via Messenger:

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

Just shared via Reddit:

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

Trending via Snapchat:

“Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

Going viral on X:

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

Just shared via WeChat:

The ability to adjust your vocabulary based on who you’re speaking to is a valuable life skill that many people lack.

Spotted on Instagram:

80 years ago we would have all been institutionalized and I think that’s beautiful.

Spotted on WeChat:

Wake me when AI does housework.

Live now on Twitch:

(flirting) You’ll be the death of me.

75 Funny self-esteem quotes

More funny self-esteem quotes 👇

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You can do that on your own.

1 month ago

anyone, bad, confidence, feel, humor, independence, let, motivation, own, self-esteem, self-worth, yourself
He had the nerve to call me pretty. I’m gorgeous.

1 month ago

call, compliment, confidence, flirtation, gorgeous, humor, me, nerve, pretty, self-esteem
If you want to feel really bad about yourself, just start dating.

1 month ago

bad, dating, feel, feeling, feeling bad, humor, just, love, relationship, self-esteem, single, start, want, yourself
As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

1 month ago

entertainment, forgive, humor, low, low self-esteem, man, men, need, self-esteem, woman, yourself
What’s it called when you’re super insecure but, at the same time, you can walk into a room full of people and think you’re better than everyone else?

1 month ago

better, confidence, else, everyone, full, humor, insecure, insecurity, paradox, people, personality, personality trait, room, same, self-esteem, situation, social, social situation, super, think, time, trait, walk

For even more funny self-esteem quotes, hit next 👇

All funny self-esteem quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Messenger this month:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

21 shares on Instagram this month:

I had a healthy appendix removed, just to show the other organs that I will not tolerate any bullshit.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

30 shares on Discord this month:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

32 shares on Threads this month:

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

30 shares on Discord this month:

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes I wish I understood what some of you said and sometimes I am happy that I don’t.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I lose my looks. But I’m also losing my eyesight, so it’s not my problem.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

Spotted on Snapchat:

Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

Freshly posted on Discord:

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

Shared recently on Threads:

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

Just shared via Slack:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

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Activity Log ✨

75 Funny self-esteem quotes

More funny self-esteem quotes 👇

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You can do that on your own.

He had the nerve to call me pretty. I’m gorgeous.

If you want to feel really bad about yourself, just start dating.

As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

What’s it called when you’re super insecure but, at the same time, you can walk into a room full of people and think you’re better than everyone else?

All funny self-esteem quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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