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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

Breaking via Discord:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

Seen just now on X:

Don’t forget to make everything about you today.

Spotted on Snapchat:

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

Reported on Reddit:

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

Breaking via YouTube:

To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

Just landed via WeChat:

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Spotted on Instagram:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m an optimist and i understand how annoying that is.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

Trending via TikTok:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

Spotted on Twitch:

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

Trending via Messenger:

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

Reported on WeChat:

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

Spotted on Facebook:

Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

Going viral on Telegram:

My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

Breaking via YouTube:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

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