Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

My kids acting shocked there’s ants in my car like they’re not Hansel and Gretel leaving bloody crumb trails.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

“You’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I love when people say “be yourself,” like I haven’t already been doing that and scaring everyone off.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I hate being a wage slave. I want to be a streamer that does nothing but react to videos all day, and then complain about how hard my life is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,582

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Telegram:

I know stretching every day will help me, but I don’t want to do it.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

Spotted on X:

The only difference between hungry and horny is where you insert the cucumber.

Making waves on X:

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Job-hopping is a funny concept, like ‘Hey, I’m gonna go hate my life over there instead.’

Just shared via Snapchat:

I haven’t exaggerated in like a million years.

Making waves on Facebook:

All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I can resist everything except temptation.

Just shared via Threads:

I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

Funny Siri quotes

Funny Siri quotes never fail to brighten your day with unexpected wit and charm 🤖😂 Whether she’s throwing shade or dropping clever comebacks, Siri’s humor turns everyday tech into a comedy show 📱✨ Get ready to laugh out loud as we dive into some of the most hilarious moments from your favorite virtual assistant! #SiriHumor #TechLaughs 🤩🎉

New funny Siri quotes 👇

All funny Siri quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Telling the cop I’ll give him his nose back if he lowers his firearm.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

I need a long hot meteor shower.

99 shares on Discord this month:

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

I used to be a night owl, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a person who doesn’t function at any time.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

College core: you sit in the class for attendance, then go home and teach yourself.

79 shares on Telegram this month:

The void screams into me.

79 shares on Slack this month:

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Best time to reach me is when I’m at work. Don’t bother me when I’m at home.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I took a test to see if I have multiple personalities. I scored 100%, 92% and 88%.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Mondays are for pretending. Real work begins on Tuesday.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

How do I un-know people?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,317

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Who needs a dominatrix when you can be beaten up by an automatically retracting vacuum cleaner cable?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

“Why are you so quiet?” Because I’m barely even here.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Sugar held my hand through every breakup.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

I hate when someone you love says mean things like, “It’s time to wake up.”

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Am I just an Untitled Document to you?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Seen just now on Facebook:

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

Trending via Pinterest:

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

Just landed via Pinterest:

“Why are you so quiet?” Because I’m barely even here.

Just shared via TikTok:

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

Making waves on Telegram:

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

Just shared via Twitch:

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Liking someone who likes you back is probably really good for your mental health.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴