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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breath out carbon dioxide for plants.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Sometimes I think about Adam and Eve and how they couldn’t even get a babysitter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

Making waves on Reddit:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

Spotted on Discord:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

Trending via Snapchat:

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

Spotted on Slack:

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

Freshly posted on X:

According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

Going viral on Reddit:

What was the main bloke called in Harry Potter?

Seen just now on X:

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?

Trending via Pinterest:

It was the becestershire of times, it was the worcestershire of times.

Just landed via X:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Trending via Messenger:

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

Just shared via X:

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

Seen just now on X:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Trending via Messenger:

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

Trending via Messenger:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

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