29 Funny smoking quotes

Funny smoking quotes light up your day with a puff of humor and wit 🚬😂 Whether you’re a smoker, an ex-smoker, or just love clever wordplay, these hilarious lines will have you chuckling in no time 😄🔥 Get ready to spark some laughs and share a smile with friends—because sometimes, laughter is the best smoke break! 💨🤣

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

Commentary:
Looks like your guardian angel is on an extended smoke break, probably practicing some next-level cloud-making skills ☁️🚬! Hopefully, they remember they've got a job to do and come back before you need a miracle or two! 🌟😇 #UnbreakableBondWithMyGuardianAngels

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the mile-high smoking lounge! Because nothing says 'taking flight' quite like a nicotine fix with a side of fresh air…or turbulence. ✈️🚬 Just remember to buckle up your seatbelt and hold onto your ashtray! 😅"

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

Commentary:
Seems like this employee was just thinking ahead to accommodate all preferences, even in the afterlife! 😂🔥⚰️ Who knew that in the funeral business, it's all about the final smoking vs. non-smoking section! #RestInPeaceOrInAshes

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

Commentary:
Oh, so vaping is like the ultimate cockblocker for onlookers, huh? 😂🚭 Nothing like a cloud of vapor to spice up the atmosphere, or kill the mood, depending on who you ask! 💨🚫 So, watch out vapers, you might inadvertently be saving yourself from unwanted advances! 😅 #VapeAndChill