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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,691

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.

Just landed via Instagram:

Sometimes people come into your life — and they need to stop doing that.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Boss: Why do I have to always come and find you? Me: Because a good employee is hard to find.

Spotted on Slack:

My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

Making waves on X:

Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Apparently, “spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

Trending via Pinterest:

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

Seen just now on Facebook:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

Trending via Instagram:

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

Funny spa quotes

Funny spa quotes are the perfect way to bring a smile 😄 to your relaxation routine! Whether you’re soaking in a bubble bath 🛁 or enjoying a soothing massage 💆‍♀️, a little humor adds extra glow ✨ to your self-care moments. Ready to laugh your stress away while pampering yourself? Let’s dive into some witty and lighthearted spa vibes that keep the good times bubbling! 🧖‍♂️💖

New funny spa quotes 👇

All funny spa quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Messenger this month:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

56 shares on Threads this month:

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Mondays are for pretending. Real work begins on Tuesday.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

I was going to go for a run, then realized I could just run my mouth on here.

14 shares on Threads this month:

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

63 shares on TikTok this month:

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,507

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Instagram should let you extend the run of one story for another 24 hours if the intended target didn’t see it.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

Just landed via Instagram:

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

Live now on TikTok:

The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m a big believer in not going to work on your birthday!

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Toxic girlfriend who goes through her boyfriend’s calculator app and asks why he’s doing the equations he’s doing.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

Spotted on Threads:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

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