Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

All I want I for Christmas is to go to the mall in 1986.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Occupation: the ugly friend!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

Just landed via Facebook:

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

Just shared via Instagram:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

Just shared via Telegram:

After ejaculation, men automatically realize that everything is vanity upon vanity.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

Just landed via YouTube:

“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.

Making waves on Instagram:

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

Funny stay up quotes

Funny stay up quotes are the perfect late-night fuel to keep you laughing while the world sleeps 🌙😴 Whether you’re battling insomnia or just enjoying some midnight mischief, these witty gems shine brighter than your phone screen 📱✨ Get ready to embrace the silly side of sleepless nights and turn those yawns into giggles 😂🌟 #NightOwlVibes

New funny stay up quotes 👇

All funny stay up quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

33 shares on Slack this month:

Sorry, my bedroom looks like a child with a credit card decorated it. Do you still want to bone?

72 shares on Twitch this month:

In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

34 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster… so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s funny how everyone who was all about Christmas a week ago is suddenly into New Year’s now.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the weirdest things about being an adult is having a favorite stove top burner. No one ever talks about it, but y’all know it’s true.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Just got my steps in by avoiding someone I know.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,606

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Anime characters are always like “But you didn’t know about my eye,” and then they activate their mode.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

On a scale of quack to quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, what do you think of my duck-based numbering system?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

Just shared via Facebook:

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

Spotted on YouTube:

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Breaking via Reddit:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on social media every day.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Just landed via Discord:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

They should invent a “stay signed in” checkbox that isn’t meaningless.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

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