Commentary:
"Stealing FitBits to earn a shiny new ankle accessory? That's the new upgrade plan! 👟💼 Who needs a step tracker when you can step up your thievery game! 😉👣 #FitBitGoals"
19 Funny steal quotes
Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.
Commentary:
Oh, the modern struggle of juggling passwords and identity theft risk! 🤦♂️ Who knew that a strong password could also double as free identity theft protection and a gentle reminder to sit up straight? 🤣 Stay safe out there, folks! #PasswordProblems #IdentityTheftDeterrent
I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.
Commentary:
"I must warn you, the secret government conspiracy involving the object with little wheels under the microwave plate is a high stakes operation. Proceed with caution, my friend! 🕵️♂️🔍👽"
If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.
Commentary:
"Watch out, comedians! If someone dares to steal your jokes, it's time to get suited up… in a LOLsuit! 😄👔 Laughter is the best defense in these cases! Who knew legal action could be this funny? 😆 #StandUpComedyGoneLegal"
Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.
Commentary:
"Who needs a hoodie when you can upgrade to a whole new ride? 🚗💨 Ladies, level up! #RealWomanGoals"
An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.
Commentary:
"Seems like the key to getting paid at an internship is having sticky fingers, eh? 🤑💼 Just kidding! Remember folks, the real treasure is the experience you gain along the way… but a decent stipend wouldn't hurt either! 😉💰 #InternLife"
I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.
Commentary:
"Oh, so you're practicing the 'out of sight, out of pickpocket's mind' strategy at work? 😆 Better watch out for those office ninjas silently stealing wallets while you catch some z's! 🕵️💼💤"
We could have high-speed rail that connects the entire country, but instead we get AI porn bots that steal all of our drinking water to entertain the dumbest people alive.
Commentary:
Fast trains would be cool, but apparently, AI thinks we need more "thirsty" entertainment! 🚄🤖💧😂
I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice?
Commentary:
Trying to figure out if that's a joke or if Vanilla Ice has a time machine! 🕰️🎤😂