Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

My coffee and I used to be hot. Now, we’re just bitter.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

At the end of the day, it’s just me and me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,454

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

Trending via YouTube:

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

Just landed via Pinterest:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

Just landed via Facebook:

They’re making me do work at work.

Trending via Instagram:

Took a break from Twitter for my mental health, so I’d figure I’d come back to ruin it again.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

Breaking via Twitch:

What many call beauty can just be wiped off 90% of the time.

Just landed via Threads:

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

Spotted on Messenger:

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

Funny syrup quotes

Funny syrup quotes 🍁 bring a sweet twist to breakfast banter and pancake parties 🥞! Whether you’re a maple fanatic or a stack lover, these witty lines drizzle humor over your morning routine ☀️. Get ready to smile and savor the syrupy silliness that adds flavor beyond the plate 😄🍯. Perfect for sharing with friends or spreading syrupy joy on social media!

New funny syrup quotes 👇

All funny syrup quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Twitch this month:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

100 shares on Facebook this month:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

60 shares on Discord this month:

Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

55 shares on Twitch this month:

You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

78 shares on Discord this month:

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,726

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

There’s nothing worse than being in public and you touch something that shouldn’t be sticky and it is.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Seen just now on Telegram:

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

Going viral on Twitch:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

Going bananas on YouTube:

This world is extremely kind to men, so I am not.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Going bananas on Threads:

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Today I couldn’t find a parking space at work, so I drove back home. Looks like they have enough people there.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴