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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

It’s always annoying to be woken up by some guy mowing his lawn. Just go around me, man.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

They should have made a pool raft that looked like a broken door when Titanic was in theaters. I bet it would have sold millions.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2419 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,581

Funny Quotes Topics

15,252

Funny Quotes Images

12,581

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

Just shared via Messenger:

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

Broadcasted on X:

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

Spotted on Reddit:

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

Just shared via Slack:

A garlic a day keeps people away.

Just shared via Reddit:

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

Spotted on X:

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

Shared recently on Threads:

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I don’t expect everything handed to me, just set it down outside my door.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2419 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,581

Funny Quotes Topics

15,252

Funny Quotes Images

12,581

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,464

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to annoy the shit out of a beautiful man for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Meow means woof in cat.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

Shared recently on Twitch:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If Keith Richards survived the ’70s, the ’80s, and 1.2 million Marlboros, I can probably survive anything.

Going viral on Telegram:

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

Seen just now on Discord:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Spotted on Messenger:

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

Making waves on Facebook:

Why aren’t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

Shared recently on X:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Live now on Facebook:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

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