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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Rescuing a cute dog and teaching it how to drive me home from the pub.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,550

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

Going bananas on Threads:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

Shared recently on WeChat:

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Amazing if accurate: bleeding money.

Trending via Telegram:

Resting bitch face saves me from so many conversations I don’t want to be part of.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

Just shared via Messenger:

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

Spotted on Instagram:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

Funny time spent quotes

Funny time spent quotes 😂⌛ are the perfect way to celebrate those moments that make us laugh until our cheeks hurt! Whether it’s hanging out with friends, procrastinating like a pro, or just embracing the silly side of life, these witty sayings capture the joy in everyday fun. Ready to add some chuckles to your day? Let’s dive into the funniest takes on how we all love spending time—sometimes wisely, often hilariously! 🎉⏳🤣

New funny time spent quotes 👇

All funny time spent quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Twitch this month:

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

If I was polyamorous, I think Id date my girlfriend three times.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

83 shares on Threads this month:

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

21 shares on X this month:

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

77 shares on Slack this month:

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

39 shares on Pinterest this month:

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

50 shares on X this month:

I don’t care if I’m standing in the window, if I said I ain’t home, I ain’t home.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Lost my job to AI (my job was to be loudly and confidently incorrect).

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I have tasted academic validation. I have tasted romantic love. I recommend getting a hobby.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,536

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

The lion can’t keep living like this.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Whoever named rice cakes is probably also responsible for Paris, Texas.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Beautiful women named Severe Thunderstorm Warning are blowing up my phone.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Adulthood is just saying “it is what it is,” and then crying in your car to a song from 2012.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on TikTok:

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

Just landed via X:

Billionaires didn’t get rich by working harder. They got rich by making sure you work harder, get paid less, and spend more.

Just landed via Slack:

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

Spotted on Twitch:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

“God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

Just landed via X:

Behind every beautiful woman is either tummy issues, low iron, or poor eyesight.

Making waves on Snapchat:

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

Just shared via YouTube:

The worst part about working from home is that your real husband is also your work husband.

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