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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,655

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

Broadcasted on X:

Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

Going bananas on WeChat:

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

Freshly posted on X:

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

Spotted on Twitch:

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

Just shared via Snapchat:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Just shared via Reddit:

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

13 Funny trauma quotes

More funny trauma quotes 👇

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

0

5 months ago

change, dealing, discussing, ever, frustration, grocery, grocery store, health, humor, i, layout, mental, mental health, next, session, shopping, store, therapy, trauma
I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

0

5 months ago

actually, coping, coping mechanism, got, heal, healing, humor, i, mechanism, people, psychology, revenge, think, trauma
Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

0

5 months ago

accessibility, care, free, free service, getting, health, humor, mental, mental health, psychology, self, self-care, service, should, therapy, trauma

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All funny trauma quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Threads this month:

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.

10 shares on X this month:

To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

Having a crush should be considered a form of self-harm.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

The Gulf of Mexico should’ve been renamed to Sea Señor.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I am the first person in my bloodline to attempt to become hot, and I can feel my genes fighting me every step of the way.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I like how my fridge also hums when it’s trying to concentrate.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

Just shared via Pinterest:

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

Spotted on Messenger:

Dress for the demons you want, not the demons you have.

Seen just now on Threads:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

Live now on Twitch:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

The older I get, the more I understand why witches lived alone in the woods.

Breaking via Telegram:

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

Trending via Pinterest:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

Shared recently on Slack:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

Trending via WhatsApp:

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

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Activity Log ✨

13 Funny trauma quotes

More funny trauma quotes 👇

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

All funny trauma quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨