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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

822 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,984

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,984

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

Breaking via Facebook:

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

Going viral on Snapchat:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Spotted on Facebook:

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

Making waves on Discord:

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

Just shared via Reddit:

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

Live now on TikTok:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

Breaking via Facebook:

Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

Making waves on Reddit:

Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

822 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,984

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,984

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Remember before social media you would have to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them how much you love bacon?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

Reported on YouTube:

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

Seen just now on WeChat:

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

Just shared via Facebook:

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

Reported on YouTube:

I get so crabby when strangers waste my time which is unfair to them because I waste almost all of my own time to begin with.

Spotted on TikTok:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

Making waves on Discord:

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

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