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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

There must be an opposite of suicide, where someone suddenly and radically decides to start living, and rescues their own life from meaninglessness.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

I hate being a wage slave. I want to be a streamer that does nothing but react to videos all day, and then complain about how hard my life is.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Breaking via YouTube:

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

Breaking via Threads:

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’m old enough to remember when FIFA was about kicking balls, not sucking them.

Spotted on Telegram:

I want Al to do my laundry and dishes so that I can do art and writing, not for Al to do my art and writing so that I can do my laundry and dishes.

Spotted on Reddit:

Occupation: the ugly friend!

Seen just now on TikTok:

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Breaking via Facebook:

As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

Breaking via Pinterest:

My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

Funny uninterested quotes

New funny uninterested quotes 👇

All funny uninterested quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Reddit this month:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

24 shares on Slack this month:

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

89 shares on Messenger this month:

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

35 shares on WeChat this month:

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Sure, breakups are hard, but have you ever had to wait for your phone to stop ringing so you can start using it again?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people still fail to understand that the boot still has no problem crushing you, even if you lick it clean.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,630

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Living in your parent’s house is free because you pay with your soul.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

Just landed via Facebook:

Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

Live now on Facebook:

Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

That one British friend that’s too bloke.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

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