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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Call me old, but these days I just get excited to go home and lay down.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

I celebrate 4/20 on 1/5 because I know how to reduce fractions.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,684

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Leaving my apartment for two weeks, but leaving a single cup in the sink as a gesture to continuity upon my return.

Live now on Reddit:

My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

Trending via WhatsApp:

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

Freshly posted on X:

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

Spotted on Twitch:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Seen just now on TikTok:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

Just shared via Discord:

The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

Funny value of time quotes

New funny value of time quotes 👇

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

3 weeks ago

25, avocado, avocado toast, cafe, comparison, cooking, cost, delivery, eats, food, food delivery, home, home cooking, humor, labor, labor cost, minute, money, price, price comparison, time, toast, Uber, Uber Eats, value, value of time, worth

All funny value of time quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on YouTube this month:

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

20 shares on X this month:

Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

I need a massage for my brain.

56 shares on Facebook this month:

Being a woman is wild. I just cried, cleaned the house, had a snack, had a bath, and now I’m fine.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

As a man, it’s my job to mistake kindness for flirting.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

90 shares on Threads this month:

What age will I grow out of not answering the door when I’m home and sneaking around the house to find out who’s knocking?

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

“Is there anything else I can assist you with today?” No, just that one thing you couldn’t assist me with, thanks.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

Going bananas on Twitch:

They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.

Just shared via Slack:

I said when I retire, I would travel. I just didn’t expect it to be to the doctors.

Just landed via Twitch:

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Just landed via Threads:

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

Trending via Instagram:

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

Trending via Snapchat:

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

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Funny value of time quotes

New funny value of time quotes 👇

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

All funny value of time quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨