Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

As a kid, I didn’t understand the subtext of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ at all. I thought Mommy was cheating.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

My DNA came back saying I come from a wide selection of cheeses.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,615

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

Live now on Instagram:

Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

Just shared via Messenger:

Have to wear real clothes on Monday. Pray for me.

Just shared via X:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Freshly posted on X:

My DNA came back saying I come from a wide selection of cheeses.

Live now on Instagram:

Boss: Why do I have to always come and find you? Me: Because a good employee is hard to find.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I talk to one guy, and he wants to break my heart. I talk to five guys, and they all wanna take me seriously.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Funny violent quotes

Funny violent quotes bring a hilarious twist to the world of chaos and conflict 🤪💥 Mixing sharp wit with a splash of mischief, these sayings turn aggression into comedy gold 🎭🔥 Perfect for those who love a little edge with their laughs, they make tension vanish with a punchline 🥊🤣 Ready to see violence in a whole new, LOL-worthy light? Let the fun begin! 🚀😜

New funny violent quotes 👇

All funny violent quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Facebook this month:

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

41 shares on X this month:

Want to come over and lay around naked, eating grapes like we’re in a Renaissance painting.

65 shares on WeChat this month:

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

28 shares on YouTube this month:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My résumé is really just a list of things I hope I never have to do again.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The place where you pour in the gas is the car’s gasshole.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t let the fact that I’m deeply unserious distract you from the fact that you’re in the presence of a genius.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Enjoy the time between diapers!

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,643

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Going bananas on Slack:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

Just shared via Reddit:

I miss you when I wake up before you.

Broadcasted on X:

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Celebrities should not be allowed to name children.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best thirst trap poster of them all?

Trending via WhatsApp:

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

“I’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business.”

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