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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

You’re so vain. You probably think me being in this tree outside your house is about you.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Dec 25, 2025

3,594

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a poorly timed joke that makes everyone feel weird.

Making waves on Facebook:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

Live now on TikTok:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Just landed via Slack:

I’m so loyal to my music, I’ll hunt down a song I used to love five years back.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

Just landed via Facebook:

“Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

Just shared via Threads:

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

Home » Funny Violent Quotes

Funny violent quotes

Funny violent quotes bring a hilarious twist to the world of chaos and conflict 🤪💥 Mixing sharp wit with a splash of mischief, these sayings turn aggression into comedy gold 🎭🔥 Perfect for those who love a little edge with their laughs, they make tension vanish with a punchline 🥊🤣 Ready to see violence in a whole new, LOL-worthy light? Let the fun begin! 🚀😜

New funny violent quotes 👇

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

0

2 months ago

comparison, feeling, Floyd, humor, illiterate, May weather, personality, violent, weather
“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

0

2 months ago

conversation, frustration, going, hell, humor, hurts, i, job, job search, know, me, question, sarcasm, search, second, should, violent, violent question
The goose: Canada’s most violent saxophone.

0

2 months ago

animal, Canada, comedy, goose, humor, music, saxophone, violent

All funny violent quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

79 shares on Slack this month:

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

45 shares on X this month:

Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

36 shares on YouTube this month:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

Still waiting for aliens to abduct me, which feels pretty rude considering I’ve been dressed and ready for years.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

40 shares on X this month:

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,694

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Babe, are you OK? It’s already Q4, and you’ve barely touched your “2025 roadmap.”

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Being single allows you to do a lot of things. For example, standing naked in the kitchen at night and eating cold pizza.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

Making waves on Facebook:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

Going viral on Slack:

The worst part of coming out of a hyperfixation is sobering up and looking at all the merch you bought that you didn’t need.

Just shared via TikTok:

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

Just shared via Facebook:

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

Freshly posted on X:

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

Trending via YouTube:

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

Going bananas on Messenger:

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

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