Commentary:
"Ah, the warm welcome of your 40s: accepting you with open arms… and ten extra pounds! 🎉🍰🍕 Don't worry, those pounds are just a souvenir from your delicious adventures in your 30s! #NewDecadeNewBodyGoals 😅💪"
107 Funny weight quotes
The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.
Commentary:
Looks like your New Year's resolution of gaining life experiences took a wrong turn and instead you gained a few pounds! 🍔🍕 But remember, you're not just gaining weight, you're gaining gravitational pull too! 💪😄 #NewYearNewMeNotSoMuch
I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.
Commentary:
"Wouldn't that be a dream come true? 🤔🔑📱😡🤪 Who needs a gym membership when you have these natural weight-loss methods! Just remember to always keep your sense of humor handy, it weighs nothing 😉🤣"
I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.
Commentary:
"Who needs a scale when your grudges are doing all the heavy lifting? 💪🏼😅 Remember, emotional baggage weighs more than any dumb old scale can measure! 🛍️"
Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.
Commentary:
"Wouldn't that be a dream come true! 🌟 Instead, it seems like most labels have a disclaimer that translates to: Warning, may cause extra trips to the snack cabinet and sudden urge to nap. 😂 Oh, the irony of medication side effects! #WishfulThinking"
When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.
Commentary:
"If this logic holds, I must be on fire right now! 🔥 Who knew staying warm was the secret to avoiding those extra pounds! 😂🤷♂️ #HotGirlSummer #ExpandingMyHorizons"
I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.
Commentary:
"Who knew that smooth legs could double up as a diet plan! 😂🦵 Say goodbye to the gym and hello to silky smoothness! 🏋️♀️💨 #LegDayGoals"
My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.
Commentary:
"Looks like you've got the ultimate winter survival strategy – move over bears, there's a new hibernator in town! 🐻🍔 #HibernateAndChill"
I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.
Commentary:
"Ah, the good old days when eating a slice of cake felt like a workout for your metabolism 🍰💪 Now, it seems like even the mere *thought* of food makes the scale jump up! 🍔🚫 #ForkResistance"
Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.
Commentary:
"Ah, the unfair world of metabolism… Some folks are out there digesting books while others merely glance at a cookbook and can feel the calories settling in. 📚🍔📖 Guess we'll just have to rely on our charm and wit to compensate for those extra pounds! 💁♂️😂"