Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Stop normalizing things, we’ll run out of the weird shit.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Every day, I’m gaslit into oblivion by beautiful women, and then I go to sleep.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I think you would all treat me a lot better if I possessed a small amount of plutonium.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.