Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Interesting people are my favorite endangered species.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

My morning routine consists of talking myself out of quitting my job.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,486

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Going viral on Threads:

A wise man once said: “Yes, darling. You’re right.”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

Trending via WeChat:

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

Going bananas on Messenger:

You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.

Just landed via Twitch:

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

Just landed via Telegram:

I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Is it just me or does everything cost like we’re shopping in an airport now?

Trending via YouTube:

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Sounds like my room cleaning plan too: step 4, wake up surrounded by "important" treasures! 🕰️🛏️😅

1, 2, 3, ago, bed, bedtime, clean, cleaning, corner, distraction, five, hours, humor, i, memory, nostalgia, procrastination, room, six, something, stare, start, vintage

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Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Reddit this month:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

Please have a seat and witness my self-destruction firsthand.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

72 shares on Messenger this month:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

74 shares on X this month:

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m lazy and chubby. I love food, naps, and coffee. I don’t like Mondays, people, and exercise. I never thought I would grow up to be Garfield.

55 shares on Slack this month:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

They should invent a word for when you’re alive but not really living.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

You’re so productive for your wage.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

No, I wasn’t dancing. I got harassed by a bumble bee.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Spotted on Twitch:

Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.

Seen just now on Discord:

“Your password is too weak.” OK, well, I created him in my image.

Live now on WhatsApp:

The minute I start feeling like a mother to a man, the relationship is over.

Seen just now on Threads:

I can’t wait to buy Chanel bags on a random Tuesday for me and my friends.

Going bananas on Threads:

There should be a tented fingers emoji. For when you’re feeling ruminative.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. Wrap it up!

Just landed via Slack:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Y’all pronounce it data or data?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

My handwriting got like five different fonts, depends on my mood and the pen I’m using.

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

My handwriting got like five different fonts, depends on my mood and the pen I’m using.

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨