Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Dear wallet, please get pregnant.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,562

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

An article of clothing left on the floor long enough becomes clean again because the germs eventually get bored and leave.

Spotted on Telegram:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

Spreading quickly via X:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Shared recently on Reddit:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Going viral on Discord:

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Maybe the reason Miss Piggy is still single is she has a fear of kermitment.

Just shared via Twitch:

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

Live now on TikTok:

If I had money, my life would be pretty much the same, but my dogs would destroy much nicer stuff.

Spotted on Discord:

Everything is a sign from God if you’re schizophrenic enough.

How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about cleaning procrastination and nostalgic detours with a humorous twist.

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Commentary:
Sounds like my room cleaning plan too: step 4, wake up surrounded by "important" treasures! 🕰️🛏️😅

1, 2, 3, ago, bed, bedtime, clean, cleaning, corner, distraction, five, hours, humor, i, memory, nostalgia, procrastination, room, six, something, stare, start, vintage

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Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on WeChat this month:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

17 shares on Reddit this month:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

94 shares on Telegram this month:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

58 shares on Twitch this month:

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

26 shares on Threads this month:

Girlhood is taking hundreds of pictures only to post one or none at all.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

91 shares on Discord this month:

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

10 shares on TikTok this month:

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Beautiful women named Severe Thunderstorm Warning are blowing up my phone.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

If we hadn’t made them extinct, instead of Kung Fu Panda we could have had Tae Kwon Dodo.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Whatever y’all heard about me, I’m way worse.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

Just landed via Threads:

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

Going viral on Telegram:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

Live now on TikTok:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Trending via Discord:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

Seen just now on YouTube:

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Trending via Threads:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

Please make sure you are only drinking as much water as you REALLY need. We need that for the data centers. If you’re thirsty, AI is thirsty too.

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

Please make sure you are only drinking as much water as you REALLY need. We need that for the data centers. If you’re thirsty, AI is thirsty too.

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨