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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡Ό has viewed:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡§ has copied:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ύ has viewed:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

We really do need a separate grocery store for people who’ve been on Earth before.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Έ has shared:

Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡© has copied:

The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡· has viewed:

Microwaves have zero chill. We get it, time is up. Calm down.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¬ has shared:

It’s just a matter of time until they add “syndrome” after my name.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,709

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spotted on Twitch:

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

Seen just now on Discord:

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

Just shared via TikTok:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Trending via Snapchat:

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

Going viral on TikTok:

I hate to slut-shame, but a lot of you are not slutty enough.

Just landed via WeChat:

Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

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Commentary:
Haha, so you're saying FaceTime's like a VIP club? πŸ˜„πŸ“±πŸ’˜ Better be on that exclusive list!

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Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

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Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Messenger this month:

Cooking your own meals really is the best way to devote 50 hours of your life every month to save $50.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

59 shares on Discord this month:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

38 shares on TikTok this month:

β€œBecause my hair is not done” is a very valid reason to decline an outing.

99 shares on WeChat this month:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

59 shares on Discord this month:

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

19 shares on Messenger this month:

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

24 shares on X this month:

Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

I love people who refuse to follow the crowd. The crowd is always lost, follow your inner compass.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Masturbation is easy, but choosing a video is hard.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

To steal from one is plagiarism, to steal from many is research.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Is this simulation from Temu?

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

We are talking about how beautiful and cool you are behind your back.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,614

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΆπŸ‡¦ has viewed:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡© has copied:

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡― has bookmarked:

Avocado is just green butter.

Someone from πŸ‡ΎπŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ά has shared:

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡ͺ has copied:

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

Dogs can’t talk and everyone loves them. Coincidence? I think not.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡§ has shared:

That moment when you’re reading but realize you forgot to understand.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¨ has copied:

Haunted house idea: a poorly lit Walmart littered with people you haven’t seen since high school.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spotted on X:

Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

Going viral on Telegram:

Vaping always looked dumb. It looks like you’re smoking a kazoo, and now the lead poisoning is the cherry on top.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Sure, breakups are hard, but have you ever had to wait for your phone to stop ringing so you can start using it again?

Shared recently on Twitch:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

Just landed via Reddit:

β€œSanta isn’t real!” Okay, I literally just saw him at the mall.

Live now on Pinterest:

Going from β€œI can fix her” to β€œI don’t care if she lives or dies” in the same beer.

Trending via Discord:

Why does Bruce Wayne, the billionaire, not simply rig Gotham City’s elections in favor of tough-on-crime candidates?

Making waves on Pinterest:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

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