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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Watching a movie on the plane? No thanks. Watching my seatmate’s movie with no audio and not understanding what’s going on for over an hour? Yassss.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

It’s not getting better or worse, but rather a third mysterious thing.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I hate liars, but what I hate more is when they think I’m an idiot and won’t find out the truth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,316

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

Trending via YouTube:

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?

Just landed via Snapchat:

Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

Just landed via X:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just sitting on the couch googling if penguins have knees.

Making waves on TikTok:

Blink if you want me!

Going bananas on Twitch:

You look like the result of a failed CIA experiment.

Making waves on WeChat:

Please text me back. I’m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

4 weeks ago

Witty quote about FaceTime preferences between friends and lovers, playful and humorous tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Haha, so you're saying FaceTime's like a VIP club? 😄📱💘 Better be on that exclusive list!

best, communication, Facetime, friends, friendship, humor, i, love, media, relationships, social, social media, technology

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Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Facebook this month:

I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Later is the best time to do anything.

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Can someone please help me, I’m still at the Fyre Festival.

54 shares on Threads this month:

“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

58 shares on Slack this month:

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

At the end of the day, it’s just me and me.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

I told my daughter to check her attitude, and she responded, “For complaints about attitude, please contact the manufacturer.”

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

Trending via Snapchat:

I don’t know how to flirt, but you can watch me eat fresh fruit in my sundress.

Seen just now on Twitch:

You should be allowed to call out of work if you have a really bad nightmare.

Making waves on YouTube:

People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

Making waves on YouTube:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

Going viral on Messenger:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Just landed via Slack:

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Live now on Discord:

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Live now on Threads:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Keep the laugh going 😂

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨