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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

It’s officially Christmas shopping season, and I can’t even afford my own life.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

White elephant: Nothing brings people together like fighting over absolute garbage.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

My boyfriend just said “I encourage you to try all things” to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,534

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

It’s my birthday, but I’m not gonna post about it for attention like some kind of loser.

Just shared via Discord:

They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.

Going viral on YouTube:

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

Just shared via YouTube:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Just landed via Threads:

Oh, Amazon, no. Please do not tell me how many packages I had delivered this year; that is none of my business.

Live now on WeChat:

In my opinion, those who go jogging on a Sunday morning certainly don’t have a comfortable sofa.

Breaking via Threads:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

Making waves on Slack:

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

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Commentary:
Haha, so you're saying FaceTime's like a VIP club? 😄📱💘 Better be on that exclusive list!

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

62 shares on X this month:

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

42 shares on Threads this month:

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

The day after Christmas is a dangerous morning to be a microwave.

22 shares on Threads this month:

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride.

39 shares on X this month:

Hair is unwashed, so I obviously feel like I’m fundamentally unlovable.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I came, I saw, I was disappointed, so I left.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My love language is being sent money.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My five-year plan is to just see what happens.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,466

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

If you like water, you already like 72% of me.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

My credit score is a family of raccoons hissing over a McRib.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Everyone’s a gangster until they see a rainbow.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Nobody views your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

“You’re an adult, maybe it’s time to stop fighting with people on the internet.”

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

Going bananas on Telegram:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Just shared via Telegram:

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

Going viral on Slack:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

Going viral on X:

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

Just shared via Messenger:

There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

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