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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

There will only be world peace if we get another Gangnam Style.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

Just landed via Telegram:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Spotted on TikTok:

When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

Just landed via TikTok:

I wish more dumb people were shy.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

Shared recently on WeChat:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

Just shared via Reddit:

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

Live now on Slack:

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

Making waves on Slack:

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Life goals: conquer the art of standing on one leg without turning it into an accidental yoga session! 🧘‍♂️🤣🩲"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

0

2 months ago

daily, daily life, days, feel, frustration, humor, idiots, just, life, perspective, realize, relatability, sarcasm, self-awareness, surrounded
If you’re thinking of becoming a parent, just imagine working 6,570 days straight without a day off.

0

5 months ago

day, day off, days, humor, imagine, just, parent, parenting, responsibility, straight, thinking, work, working
The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

0

2 months ago

activity, ago, always, bots, comedy, hilarious, humor, internet, internet humor, just, liking, me, media, online, online activity, porn, posts, self-deprecating, social, social media, viral
Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad decision, decision, food, humor, indulgence, queso, sexier, sexy, temptation, thing
Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

0

2 months ago

adult, adults, anything, important, jail, just, little, name, paper, piece, pinky, pinky promise, promise, send, serious, signature, silly, wrong
Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

0

2 months ago

activity, adventure, advice, anyone, experience, exploration, fun, fun activity, getting, good, just, new, new experience, places, recommend, recommendation, sightseeing, somebody, travel, visiting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Messenger this month:

There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

98 shares on Slack this month:

Made my last mortgage payment. Yay! I still owe a lot, I’m just not paying anymore.

82 shares on YouTube this month:

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

If you’re 20, please stop saying you’re tired. I have bananas older than you.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m not just a pretty face, I’m also a massive disappointment to my family.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

92 shares on TikTok this month:

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My phone charger is lying in another room. HELP.

67 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It was the becestershire of times, it was the worcestershire of times.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people have historically achieved with a large support network, and wondering why you’re tired all the time.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, “stop eating that ball, dude.”

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Spotted on Twitch:

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

Spotted on Threads:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

Just shared via Pinterest:

A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

Making waves on YouTube:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Making waves on WeChat:

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

If you’re thinking of becoming a parent, just imagine working 6,570 days straight without a day off.

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨