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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Isn’t it beautiful how ‘Bruh’ has stood the test of time all these years.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Who needs a dominatrix when you can be beaten up by an automatically retracting vacuum cleaner cable?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I’m a fully functional adult with the energy levels of a hibernating bear.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I let my girl wear whatever because you’re staring, and I’m hittin’ that.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

Live now on Telegram:

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Spotted on Reddit:

I wear a lot of clothes for someone who hates doing laundry.

Live now on Reddit:

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

Just shared via Reddit:

I get so crabby when strangers waste my time which is unfair to them because I waste almost all of my own time to begin with.

Trending via TikTok:

Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Making waves on Facebook:

Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like “your top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.”

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

Witty text about faking attractiveness on Tinder to get a roommate to clean.
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Commentary:
Sounds like the ultimate cleaning hack! 😂🧹 Just make sure he doesn't swipe you out for a real date! 🍽️🎭

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Reddit this month:

So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.

15 shares on Threads this month:

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes I see how many vacations people take and I wonder if I’m bad with money or if they are.

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Spice up your work day by drinking your coffee from a flask.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hair is unwashed, so I obviously feel like I’m fundamentally unlovable.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

People will be like “there is no right or wrong way to do it” until you do it the wrong way.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

A poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,451

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

My lip gloss used to be poppin’, now it’s my knees.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Why does Bruce Wayne, the billionaire, not simply rig Gotham City’s elections in favor of tough-on-crime candidates?

Trending via Threads:

When my sister drives, I am NOT passenger princess, I am a survivor.

Breaking via WeChat:

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

Just shared via Telegram:

My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

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