Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Toxic girlfriend who goes through her boyfriend’s calculator app and asks why he’s doing the equations he’s doing.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

My brain doesn’t sea typos until I’ve already hit send.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

The websites that let me check out as a guest are the real heroes.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,574

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

Spotted on Slack:

I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

Making waves on Discord:

We do it every night. Annoy each other.

Trending via Discord:

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

Going bananas on Threads:

Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

Spotted on Slack:

Life is short, flirt with me!

Making waves on Twitch:

Does anyone play Trivial Pursuit anymore, or did it retire with the encyclopedias?

Just shared via Messenger:

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

4 weeks ago

Funny quote about hiding snacks for search dogs during disasters, playful and witty in tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
And here I thought "hot dog" was just a nickname! 🌭🧀🐶

advice, cheese, disaster, dog, dogs, emergency, event, food, humor, humor quote, humorous, humorous advice, joke, natural, natural disaster, place, pockets, rescue, search, search dog, snacks, survival, tornado, wiener

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on WeChat this month:

I’d probably be a very chill werewolf, even during a full moon.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.

32 shares on Discord this month:

I need a new hobby that costs zero dollars and takes up 100% of my free time. So far, all I’ve come up with is mowing the lawn.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Stopped using exclamation points in work messages so my coworkers know they’ve killed my spirit.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

33 shares on Instagram this month:

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

58 shares on Facebook this month:

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

When your stomach is really mad at you, and you’re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

‘I love reading!’ says the woman who loves owning books.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

Going viral on Pinterest:

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

Seen just now on Threads:

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

Trending via Messenger:

Damn, I just realized that the future idealized version of myself can’t exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things.

Seen just now on Messenger:

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

Making waves on Facebook:

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

Going viral on Messenger:

My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

Live now on Slack:

I hate it when I check my transactions history, and everything adds up like damn, so no one stole from me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

Childbirth seems like an awful lot of work for an already saturated market.

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

I need to be more disciplined and stop procrastinating, starting tomorrow.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

Childbirth seems like an awful lot of work for an already saturated market.

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

I need to be more disciplined and stop procrastinating, starting tomorrow.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨