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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

I highly recommend having hobbies. It distracts you from things like falling in love.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

“I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Is this art or trash?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Porn is free, so why are you in my DMs?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,366

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Most earthquakes could have been an email.

Just shared via Discord:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Just got diagnosed with needing a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

Seen just now on Slack:

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

Just shared via Reddit:

If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end.

Going bananas on X:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

Just shared via Snapchat:

How do I tell the mosquitoes that I don’t consent?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

Spotted on Twitch:

Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

6 days ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous text about avoiding calls from unknown numbers with a playful tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When unknown numbers throw a party, guess who's not picking up! 🎉📵😂"

answer, avoidance, call, communication, humor, i, interaction, joke, jokes, know, number, people, phone, social, social interaction, unknown, unknown number

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40 shares on Slack this month:

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

“Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

42 shares on WeChat this month:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here talking baby talk to my plants.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

If you’ve never been hit with gay allegations, you’re not fly enough.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Just shared via Facebook:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Making waves on YouTube:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Live now on Slack:

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

Just landed via Slack:

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

People without a sense of humor should not be allowed to decide what people with a sense of humor are allowed to laugh at.

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

I don’t wanna be dramatic but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

I will sit in the rain about this.

The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

Keep the laugh going 😂

People without a sense of humor should not be allowed to decide what people with a sense of humor are allowed to laugh at.

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

I don’t wanna be dramatic but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

I will sit in the rain about this.

The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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