Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Can y’all just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,541

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.

Just shared via Telegram:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

Just landed via YouTube:

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

Seen just now on TikTok:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Making waves on Telegram:

‘I love reading!’ says the woman who loves owning books.

Trending via Messenger:

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

3 weeks ago

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"When unknown numbers throw a party, guess who's not picking up! 🎉📵😂"

answer, avoidance, call, communication, humor, i, interaction, joke, jokes, know, number, people, phone, social, social interaction, unknown, unknown number

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Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Discord this month:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

54 shares on Discord this month:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Bro, you will never rewatch that 7-minute video you took of fireworks. Just live in the moment.

44 shares on TikTok this month:

Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

52 shares on Facebook this month:

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

93 shares on Twitch this month:

Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

20 shares on TikTok this month:

They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

12 shares on Slack this month:

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

63 shares on Messenger this month:

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

It’s called Boxing Day because you’re supposed to spend it eating boxes.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Whoever said having a crush is when you feel the most like Carrie Bradshaw was so real for that.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Is there a job where I can lay on the floor and listen to music?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I love unplanned fun.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

Trending via Facebook:

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

Broadcasted on Slack:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Making waves on Discord:

Fifty shades of I miss you.

Just shared via Messenger:

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

Seen just now on Messenger:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Going viral on YouTube:

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

Seen just now on Discord:

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

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Activity Log ✨

Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

Nothing ruins an introvert’s day like a 4 p.m. appointment.

Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

Nothing ruins an introvert’s day like a 4 p.m. appointment.

Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨