Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Some woman is out there right now, pregnant with Leonardo DiCaprio’s next girlfriend.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

You can tell a lot about someone based on which Spice Girl they were most attracted to.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Imagine being in the Trojan horse with the lads, pure darkness and giggling like hehehe

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Girlhood is taking hundreds of pictures only to post one or none at all.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,650

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

Going viral on Facebook:

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Just landed via Discord:

Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

Just landed via WeChat:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Seen just now on Slack:

Me driving at night: I hope this is the road!

Just shared via LinkedIn:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Just shared via Threads:

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

Just landed via Instagram:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

1 day ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about Grok's indifferent attitude when summoned, humorous and playful in tone.

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Commentary:
When Grok ghosts you, even your WiFi feels left out 📡👻😅

care, grok, humor, indifference, just, love, people, personification, reply, sometimes, summon

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47 shares on X this month:

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

44 shares on X this month:

Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.

66 shares on YouTube this month:

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

76 shares on X this month:

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

85 shares on X this month:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

15 shares on Telegram this month:

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I am under no obligation to make sense to you.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Evenings after work finish too quickly, one meal, one show, and it’s already tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Happy return of “yes of course it’s bedtime, see how dark it is outside” to all parents who celebrate.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

Making waves on Twitch:

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

Live now on Discord:

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

We need a slur for people that use AI.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

Shared recently on Reddit:

The Gulf of Mexico should’ve been renamed to Sea Señor.

Just shared via WeChat:

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

Going viral on Slack:

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

My dream car is a taco truck.

Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

Keep the laugh going 😂

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

My dream car is a taco truck.

Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨