Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

The downside to getting in a hammock is having to get out of the hammock.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Don’t really want to have 6-8 pints and a takeaway tonight, but it’s Friday and rules are rules.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

My laundry is done, but I don’t even want it anymore. The washing machine can keep it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

298 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,567

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,567

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,516

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.

Just landed via Slack:

I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.

Going viral on X:

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Life is weird and then you die.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

Seen just now on Messenger:

Wake me up when I’m rich!

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When Grok ghosts you, even your WiFi feels left out 📡👻😅

care, grok, humor, indifference, just, love, people, personification, reply, sometimes, summon

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

5 months ago

arm, arm fat, body, body positivity, confidence, fat, here, humor, imagine, just, me, over, playing, positivity, self-love
He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

2 months ago

Andre, giant, humor, i, just, nickname, observation, own, self-identification, think, wit
I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

2 months ago

back, communication, expression, feel, feelings, holding, honesty, humor, i, media, opinion, people, social, social media, stop, tell, truth, us, wish
I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

2 months ago

astrology, celestial, humor, i, moon, most, nature, ocean, respect, three, wolf, woman, women
Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.

2 months ago

deserve, humanity, humor, last, last year, mess, new, new year, sarcasm, year
Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

3 months ago

accident, distraction, food, humor, i, jelly, mean, media, mistake, phone, social, social media, tweet

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on TikTok this month:

Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

44 shares on Slack this month:

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

13 shares on Twitch this month:

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

87 shares on Threads this month:

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

“I’m at the age where, if I use the wrong pillow at night, it hurts to turn my head the next day.”

26 shares on X this month:

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Wanna worship each other until the end of all things?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Life sucks a lot less when your feet are in a creek, and you forgot your phone in the truck.

Just landed via Telegram:

Nobody says, ‘Bless you,’ when you fart.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Trending via Twitch:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Just landed via Slack:

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

Going viral on Snapchat:

They should invent a day where it all makes sense.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.

Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨