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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

My mom didn’t raise a fool. Possibly a psycho, but never a fool.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,330

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If I unsubscribe from your email list, I definitely do not need you to send a follow-up email to confirm.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

Going bananas on X:

I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

Shared recently on Threads:

In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

Spotted on Twitch:

Not photogenic, but I probably look soooo good as a distant memory.

Just landed via TikTok:

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

Freshly posted on X:

“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

Shared recently on Twitch:

Accidentally blurted out “skip intro” when my mother-in-law wasn’t getting to the point.

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When Grok ghosts you, even your WiFi feels left out 📡👻😅

care, grok, humor, indifference, just, love, people, personification, reply, sometimes, summon

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

3 months ago

age, coffee, cup, drink, drinking, energy, humor, me, Popeye, spinach, transformation
Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

2 months ago

anyone, decision, decisions, ever, every, humor, i, management, morning, procrastination, self-deprecation, time, time management, wake, wake up, worst, worst decision
Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

3 months ago

circumstance, circumstances, control, excuse, humor, i, irony, late, procrastination, well
Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

5 months ago

ask, communication, conversation, dating, humor, irony, men, met, never, personality, question, questions, relationship, say, yourself, zero
Girls be like, “I hate this man,” then have sex with him.

2 months ago

contradiction, girl, girls, hate, humor, i, man, relationship, sex
It’s not magic, but I bet you are reading this post with one leg on top of the other.

2 months ago

bet, humor, i, leg, magic, post, posture, reading, top

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Discord this month:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

Screw you guys, I’m gonna go make friends with the crows.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

Don’t ever let your computer feel that you’re in a hurry, cause they’re gonna slow down more.

31 shares on Slack this month:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

“I’m doing better than my parents at my age. They had, like, no followers.”

31 shares on Messenger this month:

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

15 shares on WeChat this month:

“I’m not even close to how crazy I’m legally entitled to be.”

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

I really thought adulthood would be 50% freedom and 50% fun. Turns out it’s 100% bills.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Tinder, but for nearby people that have a printer you can use.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.

Live now on Reddit:

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Cheating before AI required a level of effort that you ended up learning something by default.

Going viral on TikTok:

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

Just shared via Twitch:

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

Freshly posted on Discord:

You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “hot dogs! hot dogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hot dogs.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

Girls be like, “I hate this man,” then have sex with him.

It’s not magic, but I bet you are reading this post with one leg on top of the other.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨