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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

If you’re a guy and you’re struggling right now, just remember nobody cares, and it does get worse.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Do you mind if I wear my black T-shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,378

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

It doesn’t matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.

Making waves on Threads:

That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

Spotted on Messenger:

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

Shared recently on YouTube:

Libraries were a good start, but we need more places where people can’t talk.

Just landed via YouTube:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Bought some coconut shampoo, but when I got home, I realised I didn’t have a coconut.

Breaking via Snapchat:

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

Spotted on Slack:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

5 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about casually joking with strangers and questioning societal norms.

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Commentary:
"Suddenly, it's a sidewalk stand-up show! 😂👀 #FreelanceComedian"

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13 shares on TikTok this month:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

76 shares on Discord this month:

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

26 shares on Threads this month:

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

19 shares on TikTok this month:

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

53 shares on Threads this month:

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

We need a slur for people who use ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

It really cannot be overstated how many of your problems disappear once you have a beautiful woman who is in love with you.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Walking up to any crime scene and whispering within the crowd, “It’s started again, hasn’t it?” then leaving.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

People in 1999 were using the Internet as an escape from reality. People today are using reality as an escape from the Internet.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Lowkey wanna fall in love, but Monday to Friday is work, Saturday is laundry, Sunday is mental prep for Monday. The butterflies in my stomach are actually decomposing.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Thinking after a concert that the artist liked your city/show the most is like thinking the bartender flirted with you.

Broadcasted on X:

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

Making waves on WeChat:

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

Just shared via Reddit:

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

Making waves on X:

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨