Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Have nothing to say, I just wanted to appear in your newsfeed.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Eating dark chocolate is practically eating vegetables.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Main difference between me and my jokes is that folks don’t laugh at my jokes.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

So stupid how New York is actually as cool as everyone says.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

“You look tired”. No, I’m just ugly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,469

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

Going bananas on Reddit:

They say sugar can’t fix your problems. Yeah, well, neither can broccoli. At least cake puts in the effort.

Seen just now on YouTube:

People be like “bear with me” and they don’t even have a bear with them.

Going bananas on X:

“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

The Playstation is broken and the child has noticed that I live here too.

Spotted on Threads:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Suddenly, it's a sidewalk stand-up show! 😂👀 #FreelanceComedian"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

0

2 months ago

absolutely, am, anxiety, being, dark, dark humor, day, death, doom, existential, existential humor, health, humor, humor about death, i, last, live, means, mental, mental health, procrastination, sarcasm, self-deprecating, sense
It sure is strange that after Tuesday the rest of the week spells WTF.

0

2 months ago

day, humor, strange, Tuesday, week, WTF
People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

0

2 months ago

around, bathroom, design, frosted, frosted glass, glass, glass house, home, home design, house, humor, live, people, privacy, should, toilet, transparency
You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

0

2 months ago

ever, everyday, everyday problem, frustration, humor, i, irony, issue, issues, man, own, past, problem, recurring, recurring issue, relatable, repetitive, self-awareness, surprise, thought
Authenticity is whispered, but bullshit is broadcasted.

0

2 months ago

authenticity, broadcast, bullshit, communication, honesty, irony, whisper
Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

0

2 months ago

comedy, date, humor, i, know, maybe, relationship, rom-com, script, start, writing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Reddit this month:

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

No revenge, because to know me only as a memory is to suffer.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

“Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

85 shares on Slack this month:

I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They should invent a second airport for people who have been in public before.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

When something Asian becomes popular enough, it becomes Mexican.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I miss when bills were none of my business.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Making waves on YouTube:

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

Live now on YouTube:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to kiss today.

Live now on Reddit:

The world needs to chill out. There’s no way future history teachers can cram all this nonsense into a semester.

Just landed via Instagram:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

Spotted on Facebook:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

It sure is strange that after Tuesday the rest of the week spells WTF.

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

Authenticity is whispered, but bullshit is broadcasted.

Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨