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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I don’t think I’d be so scared of spiders if they had eight tiny flip flops on.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I don’t like talking to people with an IQ lower than the room temperature.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I’ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Аbsolutely crazy to thіnk that Leonardo DіCaprіo’s future gіrlfrіend іs currently nervous for her fіrst day of kіndergarten.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasn’t for them.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

Spotted on Facebook:

My wife almost fell down the stairs today and that got us into a heated argument whether my gasp was out of concern or excitement.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

Just landed via Facebook:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media. Like, why am I showing my life?

Just landed via Discord:

Why can’t they use deep fake technology for good instead of evil? Like taking Zoom meetings for you, stuff like that.

Just shared via YouTube:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

Shared recently on Instagram:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Social media: where everyone's screaming into the void while mental hospitals offer crystal clear WiFi signals. 📱🤪 #TruthHurts"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I’m single because I’m a superhero.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

People who read and do research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

Seen just now on Messenger:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

Breaking via Snapchat:

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

Spotted on X:

Just rolled a joint. Not to get high or anything. It was just my ankle.

Trending via Threads:

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

Reported on Instagram:

Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

Freshly posted on Threads:

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

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