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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

It’s easy to keep me happy: feed me sunshine in summer — and keep me warm in winter.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

When I was little, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, l realize that they didn’t care either.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Starting is the hardest part. Unless it’s eating chocolate. Then stopping is the hardest part.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,003

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

Just shared via WeChat:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Shared recently on Slack:

I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

Trending via X:

People say, “Listen to your heart, do the right thing,” like they are the same things.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Ain’t no girls in my messages, just a bunch of verification codes.

Live now on Instagram:

Tuesday is no better than Monday.

Making waves on Facebook:

If anime hair were real, there would be so much color dysmorphia. Like, imagine getting brown. I would be so pissed.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

Freshly posted on Slack:

IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

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Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.
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Commentary:
Just when I thought my screenshot organization skills couldn't get any worse, I discovered screenshot-ception! 😂📸📂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Reddit this month:

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

80 shares on Threads this month:

The longer I work in corporate, the more I realize… Micromanaging is just insecurity dressed up as leadership.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.

17 shares on Discord this month:

I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

69 shares on Slack this month:

I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

37 shares on X this month:

Going to the beach as a feet guy must be insane.

39 shares on Slack this month:

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Put my height in bio. Hope it lands me a girlfriend.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The elderberry is the wisest and most knowledgeable of all the berries.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My father didn’t want kids, so he had two kids, which was the equivalent of zero kids at the time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,916

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

Spreading quickly via X:

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

Freshly posted on Threads:

There should be a “Take Your Friend to Work Day,” so we can actually see what our friends do all day and meet the characters from all their work stories.

Going viral on Messenger:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

Just landed via Telegram:

No, I am not refreshed from my long weekend. I was reminded that I am not meant to work, but I am trapped in The Machine.

Going viral on Instagram:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

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