Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I hate managing money, I was born to splurge.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Living in your parent’s house is free because you pay with your soul.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Not using emoji while texting is my way to show that I’m serious.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,590

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

Spotted on Facebook:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Trending via Instagram:

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

Breaking via Facebook:

Call me constipated the way I don’t give a shit.

Just landed via YouTube:

I don’t know if I’m still tired or already tired.

Just shared via Discord:

Men be like “I hate drama,” and then have love triangles, secret babies, a wife, side chick, ex that’s still around, breadcrumbs, and unhealed trauma.

Just shared via Twitch:

Remember when the most annoying thing about Twitter was trying to think of a shorter word.

Just shared via Reddit:

I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

Making waves on Facebook:

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Just when I thought my screenshot organization skills couldn't get any worse, I discovered screenshot-ception! 😂📸📂

admit, bring, buried, clutter, digital, digital mess, front, great, humor, i, library, mess, organization, phone, phone use, photo, photo library, screenshot, screenshots, system, taking, tech, tech humor

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Engaging in deforestation (trimming my bush).

0

2 months ago

bush, deforestation, euphemism, gardening, humor, trimming, wordplay
Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

0

2 months ago

exercise, FitBit, fitness, humor, laziness, lifestyle, Sitbit, trade
My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

0

3 months ago

being, comfort, going, hobby, home, humor, i, relaxation, wish, wishing
My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

0

2 months ago

birthday, celebration, everyone, humor, ignore, self-deprecation, wish
Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

0

2 months ago

animals, crab, curiosity, fish, fly, funny question, humor, perspective, question, think, thought, underwater
I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

0

2 months ago

afraid, comedy, fear, fix, Funny, health, humor, i, lose, me, mental, mental health, personality, self-awareness, self-care, self-improvement, therapy

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Instagram this month:

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

98 shares on WeChat this month:

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

People that ask Grok “Is this true” are the reason our society is getting dumber by the minute.

13 shares on X this month:

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

My dating checklist is down to “not the Unabomber”.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

61 shares on Twitch this month:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Referring to my boss’s wife as my boss-in-law.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Oh, so ChatGPT is gonna tell me about me? Seems gossipy.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

Making waves on TikTok:

Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

Just landed via Facebook:

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

Spotted on Slack:

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I can’t believe we live in the timeline where we invented a technology to make it so we can never trust a photo or video again.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Imagine you’re living inside a tiny mushroom house… with a tiny chimney… deep in the woods… no one knows you exist… you make soup in a tiny pot… you are free.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

Making waves on Discord:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I also want them to get lice.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Engaging in deforestation (trimming my bush).

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨