Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

ADHD is when you buy a blender and then make smoothies every day for 2 weeks, and then never make one or even acknowledge your blender ever again.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

I don’t know how to explain it, but sometimes cheese just falls into my cart at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Old people be like, “No elbows on the table, it’s rude,” then say something racist.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,686

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Not gonna lie, toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

Just shared via Facebook:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

Going viral on Reddit:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

Making waves on Discord:

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

Making waves on TikTok:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

Spotted on TikTok:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Going viral on Reddit:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like my sleep schedule is booked solid! 📚😴😂

5, am, bed, bedtime, before, book, humor, i, insomnia, late, late night, me, night, night owl, owl, procrastination, read, reading, sleep, sleepy, thing, whole, worth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

0

2 months ago

animal, baaaa, humor, joke, pun, sheep, walk, wordplay
There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

0

2 months ago

activity, entertainment, expectation, family, fun, humor, thing, whole
If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

0

2 months ago

ask, astrology, dating, getting, humor, i, interaction, nerf, sign, social, social interaction, vibe, zodiac, zodiac sign
Oh, so ChatGPT is gonna tell me about me? Seems gossipy.

0

4 months ago

AI, ChatGPT, conversation, gossip, humor, me, oh, seems, tell
I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

0

2 months ago

bad, bed, blocked, confidence, dating, humor, media, never, rejection, relationships, sarcasm, self-esteem, social, social media, told, unfriended
Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer and come out wrinkle free?

0

2 months ago

dryer, free, funny thought, great, great idea, humor, idea, put, self-care, thought, wrinkle

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

20 shares on WeChat this month:

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

My son was praying for “everybody in the world.” If you suddenly start experiencing good fortune, you’re welcome.

18 shares on Threads this month:

Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

Kinda worried about something. Don’t know what it is yet.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Please respond to my telepathic messages.

32 shares on Discord this month:

Get in loser, we’re going overthinking.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Bro, you gotta try this high-protein Caesar salad, cold brew, air fryer, overnight oats recipe I found on Instagram.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I really appreciate where you’re coming from. I just wish you’d go back.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

Spotted on Telegram:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Just landed via Twitch:

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

Shared recently on X:

I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for, detective?”

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Should I ever be mean and insulting, then it comes from the bottom of my heart.

Live now on Twitch:

Accept the truth that a clean kitchen and finished laundry are just myths. Embrace the chaos and find your inner calm.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Trending via Slack:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

Oh, so ChatGPT is gonna tell me about me? Seems gossipy.

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer and come out wrinkle free?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨