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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Wondering when these skinny jeans are gonna kick in.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,678

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

Shared recently on Threads:

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

Spotted on Messenger:

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

Trending via Discord:

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

Trending via Twitch:

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

Just shared via WeChat:

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

4 months ago

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Commentary:
When your outfit is too fire for a Monday and needs to marinate until Saturday 🔥😎✨

better, casual, casual conversation, conversation, day, ever, fashion, humor, let, me, outfit, procrastination, relatable, same, save

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

1 month ago
anything, doing, done, getting, humor, job, laziness, motivation, procrastination, productivity, today, work
Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

1 month ago
back, banh, banh mi, drunk, funny story, humor, i, last, mi, never, night, night out, restaurant, story, too, Vietnam
Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

1 month ago
animal, believe, book, books, hand, hands, humor, penguin, publish, tiny, tiny hand, writing
Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

1 month ago
communication, hello, humor, leave, message, speak, technology, toaster, voicemail
Money will not leave you on read for 9 hours.

4 months ago
9, communication, hours, humor, leave, money, patience, read, relationship, texting
Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

1 month ago
car, driving, feature, highway, humor, making, maybe, newer, oh, shake, stopped, technology, weird

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Just blocked all the normal people, so if you see this… sup, weirdo.

Live now on Slack:

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Seen just now on Messenger:

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

Going viral on Reddit:

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

Just landed via Reddit:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

Seen just now on Threads:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

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Activity Log ✨

Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

Money will not leave you on read for 9 hours.

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

“NOT dishwasher safe!” You’ll be okay, buddy, just do your best in there.

Kinda worried about something. Don’t know what it is yet.

Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

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Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

Money will not leave you on read for 9 hours.

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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