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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

If I had a wife, I’d text her things like, ‘What’s your full name?’ and ‘When’s your birthday?’

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

People will be like “there is no right or wrong way to do it” until you do it the wrong way.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,565

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Sometimes you send an email that requires a response, and the other person writes back right away, and it’s like NO NOT YET.

Going bananas on Instagram:

If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?

Going viral on Facebook:

My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.

Just landed via Messenger:

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

That boring, introverted life you’re living has probably protected you from a lot of harm and bad experiences.

Trending via Twitch:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Trending via Instagram:

If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

Breaking via Threads:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Weirdos gonna weird.

Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

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Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.
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Commentary:
When your outfit is too fire for a Monday and needs to marinate until Saturday 🔥😎✨

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Facebook this month:

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

75 shares on Reddit this month:

Sex is great, but have you ever had your alarm go off and then realize you don’t have to get up today?

92 shares on X this month:

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

18 shares on YouTube this month:

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

76 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

We should thank heaven for nipples. Without them boobs would be pointless.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,288

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Giving all the dogs in my neighborhood matching sweaters for Christmas so they can be in a gang.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Please stop fighting with each other on the internet and start fighting with each other in real life. Life is short.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

Seen just now on Facebook:

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

Trending via Discord:

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Spotted on WeChat:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Trending via Messenger:

I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

Making waves on Messenger:

I’ve decided that I’m going to underthink today.

Freshly posted on Discord:

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

Just landed via Twitch:

Spice up your work day by drinking your coffee from a flask.

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