Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t have a yoga mat, but I have a Twister mat, and it’s the same thing.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Why are these idiots only giving robots two arms?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Dogs are man’s best friend because a dog would never blindside you with a group chat.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,693

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The only joke my mom ever made was me.

Just landed via Threads:

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

Live now on Snapchat:

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that?

Just landed via X:

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

Just landed via Threads:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

Funny text about the awful feeling of about to vomit, humorous and relatable.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the internal monologue of 'Can I get to a bathroom in time?' is the real Olympic event of life! 🤢🚽🏅

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Threads this month:

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

80 shares on Discord this month:

Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like “your top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.”

85 shares on Telegram this month:

Despite popular opinion, dating apps are NOT for dating. They are for finding people to watch your Instagram story for years and years.

78 shares on Threads this month:

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

62 shares on Threads this month:

Why are these idiots only giving robots two arms?

32 shares on Facebook this month:

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

At the doctor’s office, booing all the names being called that aren’t mine.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

In your 20s, there will be an evil narcissist demon disguised as the man of your dreams. It’s important that you run from that loser before he steals your light.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Life hack: You don’t need white noise to sleep when you have constant ringing in your ears.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If love is the answer then what was the question?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,682

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Can I come over and overstay my welcome?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken.

Going viral on X:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

Spotted on WeChat:

Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?

Just shared via Discord:

I slept for 11 hours last night, just wanted everyone with kids to know that.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

In a relationship with my bedroom fan.

Going viral on Instagram:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Going viral on Facebook:

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

Going viral on Messenger:

Valentine’s Day this week. If you have a crush on me we still have time to get cards and shave.

Just landed via Messenger:

Called in, “Hey, macarena!” this morning.

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