Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Please have a seat and witness my self-destruction firsthand.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Do people who spend a fortune on outdoor heating know they can just go inside?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,360

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

I am not in a good place, geographically.

Trending via Pinterest:

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Spotted on Telegram:

It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

Just shared via Facebook:

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Spotted on Reddit:

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

Going viral on Telegram:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

Witty text about long-term marriage and silent communication, humorous and playful.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like they've mastered the ancient art of "Silent Marital Telepathy" 😂🤐💑

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Telegram this month:

By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.

56 shares on X this month:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

34 shares on Discord this month:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

94 shares on Slack this month:

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

33 shares on Reddit this month:

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

Everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

At the end of the day, it’s just me and me.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Opened two gifts this morning, and they were my eyes.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Unpopular Opinion: Die Hard is a Harry Potter movie. He sneaks around a tower at night avoiding Alan Rickman.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a crush as an adult is soooo embarrassing. I’m literally too old for this. I’m gonna learn how to forge a sword.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,703

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Silk is a crazy material. “I like your shirt,” thanks. It came out of a bug.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

This entire month could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Human hibernation should be a thing.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

Spotted on Twitch:

Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

Just shared via Twitch:

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

Spotted on Instagram:

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

Just landed via WeChat:

If you’re a dude and you’re having a bad day, just remember, no one cares.

Trending via YouTube:

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

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