Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

That’s just brainslop. You only came up with that by thinking.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Drunk me promising you anything is the equivalent of a politician giving their manifesto … it’s not gonna happen.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode them bikes when we were younger.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,398

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

Seen just now on Slack:

Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

Seen just now on X:

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

Going viral on Instagram:

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

Shared recently on Facebook:

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you channel your inner "Game of Jobs" vibes 😂👑 #InterviewRoyalty

confidence, heir, humor, interview, job, job interview, me, think, throne

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I drink all this water and for what. Just to pee? This planet is a prison.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, drink, frustration, humor, i, irony, just, pee, planet, prison, water
I forgot how to panic. Help!

0

2 months ago

anxiety, confusion, forget, help, humor, i, laughter, panic
Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

0

2 months ago

doing, doing nothing, finished, hard, hard work, humor, lesson, life, life lesson, management, nothing, procrastination, time, time management, work
I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

0

2 months ago

alien, aliens, aspiration, basketball, chance, chances, competition, good, hope, humor, i, making, NBA, scenario, slim, sports, weird, weird scenario
And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

0

2 months ago

back, brain, ear, humor, lie, only, pea, people, side, sleep
More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

0

6 months ago

babe, candlelight, communication, dating, gaslight, humor, less, light, relationship, sarcasm

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Facebook this month:

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sorry to interrupt your scrolling, but I hope life gets better for you.

83 shares on X this month:

No, I love darkness at 5pm and the death of a nation.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

58 shares on YouTube this month:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

76 shares on Slack this month:

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

No one declines an incoming call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Having leftover pizza for breakfast is an actual blessing.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

All arguments are solvable. The trick? Get naked.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

The most romantic minds of our time are being subjected to situationships.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Cutting my steak at Texas Roadhouse with my car keys.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

Trending via Threads:

Whoever created / mandated the auto start-stop feature on cars should be dragged into the town square to be tarred and feathered!

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

Spotted on Slack:

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

(Seeing the guy next to me reading a novel) You know, none of that happened, right?

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Just shared via Facebook:

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

Spotted on Threads:

You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!

Spotted on Slack:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If life could stop teaching me lessons, that would be great.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I drink all this water and for what. Just to pee? This planet is a prison.

I forgot how to panic. Help!

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨