Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

I am the human version of tangled headphones.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

If I were karma, I’d watch my back.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Not single, not dating, but a secret third thing (quantum entanglement).

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

Just shared via Messenger:

I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

Freshly posted on Threads:

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Considering joining a cult just for the subsidized housing.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I hope whoever came up with the spelling for Wednesday was punished for their actions.

Just landed via Instagram:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

Just landed via Pinterest:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

Just landed via TikTok:

“Fox Mulder” is an aggressively sexy name.

Going viral on WeChat:

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you channel your inner "Game of Jobs" vibes 😂👑 #InterviewRoyalty

confidence, heir, humor, interview, job, job interview, me, think, throne

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

0

2 months ago

daylight, daylight saving, holiday, just, made-up, saving, savings, sell
I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

0

6 months ago

child, crypto, explaining, explanation, friend, humor, i, imaginary, imaginary friend, misunderstanding, nine-year-old, said, sell, selling, someone, sounds, tried, trying
I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

0

2 months ago

cake, complaint, expense, expensive, fat, humor, i, life, lived, longer, people, pet, pets, weight, wish
Why read the room when you can leave the room?

0

2 months ago

cues, humor, leave, leaving, read, room, sarcasm, social, social cues, why
Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

0

2 months ago

demon, everyone, got, hair, humor, joke, OMG, once, possessed, possession, prank, something, supernatural, transformation
Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

0

2 months ago

effort, humor, lazy, need, philosophy, procrastination, reach, rule

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on X this month:

I don’t wanna be dramatic but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

38 shares on X this month:

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

I think adults need summer vacation. Like, let’s just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I’m so tired.

83 shares on Facebook this month:

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

93 shares on Messenger this month:

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

41 shares on Threads this month:

Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

I got Botox, and I asked the doctor, “How many years younger will this make me look?” and he was like, “Zero. You’ll just look like the other girls your age who have also gotten Botox.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

God bless the student essay that is so confused and rambling, there is zero chance that they used AI.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

Going viral on Discord:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Just shared via Threads:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Just shared via TikTok:

If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

Just shared via Snapchat:

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

Live now on Messenger:

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

Making waves on Telegram:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24 hours, I need more time to be ready for Monday.

Seen just now on Discord:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨