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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ป has shared:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฌ has shared:

Coffee, because I donโ€™t have time for a manslaughter charge.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ณ has downloaded:

Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ญ has copied:

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has downloaded:

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ป has bookmarked:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

Celebrating Presidentโ€™s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฆ has shared:

Sometimes I sneeze so loud and hard I think Iโ€™m a dad.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡บ has copied:

Farting, but with eye contact.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡พ has bookmarked:

Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,522

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Going viral on Telegram:

Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

Going viral on Twitch:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

Just shared via Slack:

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

Seen just now on Reddit:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

Spreading quickly via X:

Your boos donโ€™t mean anything to me. Iโ€™ve seen what you people cheer for!

Just shared via TikTok:

You donโ€™t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Live now on Pinterest:

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

Going viral on Threads:

Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

Playful quote about confidence, comparing oneself to a future royal during a job interview.
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Commentary:
When you channel your inner "Game of Jobs" vibes ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ‘‘ #InterviewRoyalty

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Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

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Social Media Stars โญ

61 shares on Reddit this month:

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

19 shares on Discord this month:

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

18 shares on X this month:

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

27 shares on Discord this month:

Keep your fries close and your onion rings closer.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They should invent a political party that doesnโ€™t suck.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

Itโ€™s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

32 shares on TikTok this month:

Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

9 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Welcome to your 40s, where the hair shows up uninvited and looks pissed to be here.

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

The gossip in my town is faster than the Wi-Fi.

11 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

16 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Microwaves have zero chill. We get it, time is up. Calm down.

9 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

14 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

19 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.

18 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Dollar Tree needs to just go ahead and rename it to A Couple Dollars.

8 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kidsโ€™ laundry at a time.

23 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that Iโ€™ll eventually be able to get back in it.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,518

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฒ has bookmarked:

Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡บ has downloaded:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

So many mistakes to make, so little time.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ has downloaded:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

If thereโ€™s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesnโ€™t start while Iโ€™m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has downloaded:

This entire year I was method acting. None of it was real. I was working on a bit.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฆ has shared:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡น has downloaded:

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡จ has copied:

Bedtime procrastination isnโ€™t a sleep issue. Itโ€™s a control issue. Itโ€™s about refusing to give up the last part of the day that feels like yours.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Seen just now on X:

Everyone is getting idioter.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Twerk unto others as you would have them twerk unto you.

Just shared via X:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Spotted on Threads:

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I received a DM telling me that Iโ€™ve offended some of you. Iโ€™m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

Going bananas on X:

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Just shared via X:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

Trending via YouTube:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

Seen just now on Discord:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

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