Every time I ask my husband to bring me something out of my purse, without a doubt, he’ll bring me my whole purse. Why are purses so scary to men, lol.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.

39 shares on Threads this month:

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

“I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

86 shares on Messenger this month:

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.