Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

No, I love darkness at 5pm and the death of a nation.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

We should all go into advertising and fix what’s going on with commercials. They need our help.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

The knife is my brush, the jam my paint and the toast my canvas.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,320

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

Seen just now on Discord:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

Making waves on YouTube:

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Breaking via Reddit:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I used an air fryer for the first time tonight, and I feel like I just discovered fire.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

Making waves on Discord:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

Shared recently on Reddit:

That uncle who kept his distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense to you as you get older.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I like how my fridge also hums when it’s trying to concentrate.

Funny accuracy quotes

Funny accuracy quotes are the perfect blend of wit and precision 🎯🤣, turning serious facts into hilarious moments that make you chuckle and think at the same time. Whether you’re a perfectionist or just love clever humor, these gems hit the mark every time! Ready to laugh with pinpoint accuracy? Let’s dive into some sharp and silly sayings that keep it real—and ridiculously funny! 😂📏✨

New funny accuracy quotes 👇

All funny accuracy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

89 shares on X this month:

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

86 shares on Slack this month:

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

52 shares on Facebook this month:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

74 shares on Threads this month:

There are people who have a favourite colour, and there are people whose favourite colour is purple. These are very different things. Purple fans are different creatures.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I get ready too quickly and have to sit on the couch, fully dressed, and wait like an idiot.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,602

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Time machine? You mean a clock?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Some people are like ads, just skip.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

Making waves on WeChat:

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

Just landed via Instagram:

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

Live now on Discord:

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Just landed via X:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

Breaking via Discord:

Accidentally falling asleep on the couch is somehow always the best sleep.

Just landed via YouTube:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

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