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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

I like my bed more than I like most people.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

829 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,991

Funny Quotes Topics

13,935

Funny Quotes Images

10,991

Updated

10 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

No amount of daylight can save us.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

Going viral on Discord:

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

Spotted on Threads:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

Shared recently on Instagram:

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

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Funny avoiding people quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

829 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,991

Funny Quotes Topics

13,935

Funny Quotes Images

10,991

Updated

10 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Never mind a Roomba, I need a robot garbage can that will follow my kids around the house all day.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

That awkward moment between birth and death.

Spotted on YouTube:

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

Breaking via Pinterest:

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Shared recently on X:

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

Freshly posted on X:

Ain’t no girls in my messages, just a bunch of verification codes.

Seen just now on Telegram:

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

Trending via Telegram:

I am losing touch with reality and I couldn’t be happier.

Shared recently on Instagram:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Just shared via YouTube:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

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