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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I bought a “How to Be Spontaneous” course… it starts in six months.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Please congratulate me on my cool new position! It is the fetal position; I will be in it for a while.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

The year number is getting too big, let’s do another Jesus soon.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,517

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

Seen just now on Threads:

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

Trending via Snapchat:

Wanna know a real adult life hack? Don’t tell anyone when you have a day off. Absolutely no one.

Live now on Slack:

James Bond really accurately predicted that the biggest threat to life on Earth is super-rich businessmen, whose money didn’t make them happy, and now their hobby is destroying the world.

Trending via Discord:

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Funny awards quotes

Funny awards quotes bring laughter and lightheartedness to any ceremony 🎉😂 Whether you’re celebrating quirky achievements or just want to keep things entertaining, these witty lines add a spark of joy and smiles all around 😄🏆 Get ready to turn your award moments into unforgettable memories filled with humor and good vibes! 🎭🎊

New funny awards quotes 👇

All funny awards quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

America’s national anthem should be changed to Welcome to the Jungle.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

People my age are on baby #2, and I’m on drink #5.

40 shares on Discord this month:

You wish you had this many chins.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

The real reason for global warming is that today’s young people are nowhere near as cool as we were back then.

76 shares on YouTube this month:

150 years ago, you could just fake your death and go overseas and live a completely different life if you didn’t like the way the cards were originally dealt.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I got my superpowers when I was bitten by a radioactive idiot.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The first step to recovery is addiction.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I have no beef with vegetarians.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Never forget that, just a couple of years ago, people were justifying paying $20,000 for a JPEG of an ape.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The “-ification” essay pandemic.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,425

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Have you ever just restarted the dryer because you didn’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

If you sit down to play a game of chess and your opponent punches you in the face, you’re not going to prevail by getting better at chess.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

A pessimist is just an optimist playing hard to get.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Facebook:

The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

Seen just now on YouTube:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Just landed via WeChat:

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

Just shared via Threads:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

Trending via WeChat:

When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

Going viral on Discord:

I deserve a love so pure that my nervous system can finally rest.

Just landed via Slack:

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

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