105 funny baby quotes - Page 2 - Wordgag

Podcasts are like babies, they’re too easy to create and not everyone should have one.

May 21, 2026

Don’t let anyone treat you like a red flag, you’re the whole damn red carpet, baby.

May 21, 2026

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

May 21, 2026

It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

May 21, 2026

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

May 21, 2026

I have read that there are imaginary pregnancies. The belly gets bigger and bigger, but there is no baby inside. Finally a diagnosis.

May 21, 2026

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

May 21, 2026

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

May 21, 2026

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

May 21, 2026

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

May 21, 2026

When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

May 21, 2026

100% of all babіes are unemployed. Pathetіc.

May 21, 2026

No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.

May 21, 2026

I hate that Al has now caused me to question the authenticity of cute animal videos online. I don’t even know if this baby penguin actually wore a beret to go buy a tiny baguette in Paris.

May 20, 2026

My kid asked where babies come from and I said everywhere, man, they’re worldwide.

May 20, 2026

Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

May 20, 2026

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

May 20, 2026

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

May 20, 2026

Babies sighing is so funny to me. My dear, the time to sigh has not come.

May 20, 2026

Why do we say ‘slept like a baby’? Babies wake up every two hours crying. I want to sleep like my cat—14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

May 20, 2026

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

May 19, 2026

People my age are on baby #2, and I’m on drink #5.

May 19, 2026

In retrospect, I guess “one drunken night of stupidity” isn’t the best response when a child asks you where babies come from.

May 19, 2026

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

May 19, 2026

Men be like “I hate drama,” and then have love triangles, secret babies, a wife, side chick, ex that’s still around, breadcrumbs, and unhealed trauma.

May 19, 2026

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

May 19, 2026

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

May 18, 2026

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

May 18, 2026

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

May 18, 2026

Being a baby in a stroller under the plastic cover when it’s raining must be a major vibe.

May 18, 2026

Maybe your baby is crying because it wants a cigarette.

May 18, 2026

Telling her parents you creampie her daily is socially unacceptable. But telling them you’re trying for a baby is a cause for celebration.

Apr 1, 2026

Why do babies cry when they are tired? Like, just go to sleep, bro, no one is stopping you.

Apr 1, 2026

I admire how, when babies don’t want to hold something anymore, they just drop it.

Apr 1, 2026

People will be like “Nobody cares about your Spotify Wrapped,” and then post a picture of their baby.

Apr 1, 2026

Commenting “AI slop” on a high school acquaintance’s Instagram post of their newborn baby.

Apr 1, 2026

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

Apr 1, 2026

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here talking baby talk to my plants.

Apr 1, 2026

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

Mar 31, 2026

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

Mar 31, 2026