105 funny baby quotes - Page 3 - Wordgag

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

Mar 31, 2026

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

Mar 31, 2026

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Mar 31, 2026

Name something cuter than a baby in a bucket hat on the beach.

Mar 31, 2026

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

Mar 31, 2026

Maybe your baby is crying because he knows you don’t have rizz.

Mar 31, 2026

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

Mar 30, 2026

Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

Mar 30, 2026

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Mar 30, 2026

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Mar 30, 2026

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

Mar 30, 2026

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

Mar 30, 2026

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

Mar 30, 2026

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

Mar 30, 2026

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

Mar 29, 2026

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

Mar 29, 2026

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

Mar 29, 2026

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

Mar 29, 2026

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Mar 29, 2026

I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

Mar 29, 2026

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

Mar 29, 2026

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

Mar 29, 2026

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

Mar 28, 2026

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

Mar 28, 2026

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Mar 28, 2026