Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Whoever said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never tried Revenge.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Christmas is a very special time when I give my brother a $100 gift card, and he gives me a $100 gift card.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,701

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Seen just now on Threads:

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

Live now on Slack:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Just shared via Snapchat:

A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said ‘Thank God for that, what are they?’

Making waves on X:

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

Going viral on X:

The world contains protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons.

Live now on Snapchat:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Spotted on Twitch:

Have nothing to say, I just wanted to appear in your newsfeed.

Funny betting quotes

New funny betting quotes 👇

All funny betting quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Twitch this month:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you love someone, let them sleep.

42 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

68 shares on Instagram this month:

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

44 shares on Discord this month:

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

22 shares on YouTube this month:

Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

92 shares on Discord this month:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The Frankfurt School?? What are you majoring in, hot dog?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,596

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Petition to make check-in at hotels 11am and check-out 3pm, not the other way around. Like, WTF?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

This meeting could have been a cake.

Spotted on Messenger:

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

Shared recently on Discord:

God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

Seen just now on Discord:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

Trending via WhatsApp:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Be the spooky thing in the woods that you wish to see in the world.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

Seen just now on Threads:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴