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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

The problem with salad is, it’s salad.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,239

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

Going viral on Slack:

My boyfriend just said “I encourage you to try all things” to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

Trending via Messenger:

Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

Breaking via YouTube:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Spotted on X:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Freshly posted on Slack:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Spotted on Discord:

Maturing is when you’d rather drink your bourbon half-naked on the couch than go out.

Shared recently on Threads:

The lion doesn’t concern itself with the contents of your prior email.

Funny company time quotes

New funny company time quotes 👇

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

0

2 months ago

bathroom, bathroom break, break, company, company time, humor, office, office supply, procrastination, steal, supply, take, theft, time, why, work, work humor, workplace, workplace humor

Someone from 🇬🇳 has recently shared this quote.

111 shares on Discord this month.
AI could never steal company time the way I do.

0

5 months ago

AI, company, company time, humor, i, joke, never, productivity, steal, time, work

Someone from 🇨🇺 has recently bookmarked this quote.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month.

All funny company time quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

64 shares on Instagram this month:

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

WhatsApp shouldn’t just display “seen”, but also “lies” and “also writes with other girls”!

91 shares on TikTok this month:

Some days I feel I’m on top of the world, and other days it feels like the world is on top of me.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

43 shares on Facebook this month:

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Thrifting must be so awesome for big guys and extremely small women.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Twitter account so good even HR wants to see it.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

Just landed via WeChat:

Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

Going viral on Facebook:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

Shared recently on X:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Going viral on Reddit:

Never eat more than you can lift.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I have feelings for you but you have to guess which ones.

Spotted on Telegram:

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

Making waves on Snapchat:

I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

Shared recently on Twitch:

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny company time quotes

New funny company time quotes 👇

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

AI could never steal company time the way I do.

All funny company time quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨