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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

774 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,936

Funny Quotes Topics

13,910

Funny Quotes Images

10,936

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

Breaking via Telegram:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Making waves on Discord:

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

Making waves on WeChat:

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

Just shared via Telegram:

I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

Breaking via Messenger:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

Just landed via Reddit:

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

Live now on Pinterest:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

Spotted on Snapchat:

I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

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Funny conference quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

774 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,936

Funny Quotes Topics

13,910

Funny Quotes Images

10,936

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

I hate when I’m typing away, expecting autocorrect to have my back, and I look down and just see awjdbdmkskan.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

Live now on WhatsApp:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

Seen just now on TikTok:

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

Trending via Facebook:

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

“Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

Just landed via TikTok:

Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.

Shared recently on Telegram:

It’s so rude how many of you have the audacity to be out peopling around whenever I go somewhere.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

Live now on X:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

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